Halloween
Dwight Schrute talks to the camera with a pumpkin on his head, creating an iconic caption from 'The ...

21 The Office Halloween Episode Quotes To Honor Monsters And Not Be Mad

“Happy Halloween! How can I haunt you today?”

Is there a more iconic TV show than The Office? Between the zany characters and hilarious dialogue, all set against the backdrop of the Dunder Mifflin office, there are so many memorable (and super funny) scenes, particularly during the Halloween-themed episodes. To add a little quirky humor to your Instagram posts, these The Office Halloween episode quotes make fantastic captions... even if you aren’t a costume guy.

What makes The Office’s Halloween episodes stand out over other shows is how timeless they really are. It doesn’t matter if you watched Creed, Dwight, and Kevin all dress up as the Joker back when the “Employee Transfer” episode first aired in 2008, or you’re just discovering the show for the first time — the hilarity doesn’t get stale. I mean, why wouldn’t you post a Halloween photo with your bestie that says “Happy Halloween, jerk!” beneath it?

Plus, The Office has a dedicated fanbase. As soon as you post an Instagram with The Office Halloween episode quotes, you’re bound to have fellow fans sending you likes and hopping into your comments. After all, some of the quotes are so funny that your entire post will instantly improve with a quick nod to Michael Scott or Dwight Schrute. Whether you’re a diehard fan or you’re just getting into the show, these The Office Halloween episode quotes will make the perfect Instagram captions for all your activities this spooky season.

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  1. “Somehow, I’m supposed to put on a costume and smile.” — Michael
  2. “I love Halloween. You know, it’s just, it’s just fun. Every year, it’s just fun.” — Michael
  3. “So apparently no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I had known that before I used greasepaint for my moustache.” — Pam
  4. “You’re not as scary as Bookface over there.” — Darryl
  5. “I vant to sell you blood!” — Creed
  6. “That's really not the trend in vampires right now.” — Ryan
  7. “Who wants candy?” — Michael
  8. “Welcome, children of the Scranton industrial park community! Join your gangster pumpkin on his pallet truck of doom!” — Michael
  9. “Happy Halloween! How can I haunt you today?” — Erin
  10. “A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year!” — Michael
  11. “I’ve never really been a costume guy.” — Jim
  12. “KELLY! You cannot change costumes in the middle of the day!” — Angela
  13. “Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.” — Michael
  14. “How many freakin’ vampires am I supposed to care about these days?” — Stanley
  15. “Happy Halloween, jerk!” — Michael
  16. “I’ve decided to pre-screen all the Halloween costumes this year. I have three simple rules – don’t be offensive, don’t be cliche, and don’t take the first two rules too seriously.” — Andy
  17. “Every Halloween I tell him the same thing: ‘You can’t bring weapons into the office.’ And every year he says the same thing: ‘As soon as I get my weapons back, I’m gonna kill you.’” — Toby
  18. “Leave me alone, ghoul.” — Dwight
  19. “Oookayyy everybody. Be prepared to be scared.” — Erin
  20. “Any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me.” — Dwight
  21. “I mean the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. Right?” — Dwight