Why Being Honest Is More Important Than Being Nice

by Kokil Sharma

We tend to meet many people these days who are very hard to read and project confusing emotions. They might come across as lovely and charming in the first impression, but when it comes to establishing a more meaningful and grounded relationship, you see a completely different side to them.

As you get to know them more and more, you realize their charm is only superficial. When they smile, you see a broad grin, but their eyes tell a different story. Or their body language may change as soon as you try to talk about anything important.

It is important to learn when someone is just being nice to you, or when he or she actually cares about you. You could end up wasting a lot of your time and energy hanging around such people if you make the wrong judgment in the beginning.

Playing mind games is a major sign of weakness, and no matter how stunning a person is on the outside, there is nothing more unattractive than playing with someone’s emotions on purpose. It is probably the last thing you would be looking for in your potential partner, anyway.

I have always believed that when someone is being overly nice to you, it's a bigger reason not to trust him or her. As Maya Angelou put it, “Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

I have always respected people who have told me the truth in the most difficult times, even though it was the hardest thing to do. It may hurt at the time, but it is so much easier to get over a situation than it is when people lie just because they want to come across as nice.

Many times, two people get to a dead end because of lack of honesty. They hate to confront their feelings, but the bad news is, the more you delay facing the truth, the worse it will eventually get.

Misunderstandings will become a daily routine and ultimately there will be resentment, cold wars, arguments and dilemmas. It is a massive burden to carry and you’ll end up wasting so much of your time and energy.

Being honest about how you feel will either strengthen the relationship or set you free; there is no third outcome. If you are not sure how to finish something that you didn’t mean to start in the first place, remember these three things:

1. Honesty takes courage

It’s never easy to break someone's heart, but if you are not in love with someone who is in love with you, then you must be strong enough to end it.

Just own the fact that you are in a tough situation, take some responsibility for landing yourself into that situation and gather the courage to face it. If you don’t do it now, life will make you do it at another time and it will be much worse.

2. Actions should be in line with words, and words should be in line with thoughts

If you are struggling to say something, write your feelings down and practice in front of the mirror or with a friend. Be articulate and trust that you will speak the truth no matter how hard it may be. In the words of Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow, “Words come easy when they’re true.”

You should never be sorry about how you feel. Accept that you might have made a mistake, own it and then fix it.

3. Don't let it drag

If you run away from the situation and constantly postpone it, it will come back and bite you in the ass. I have seen people who are not even a tiny bit in love with each other, drag out a relationship for years because they lack the courage to be honest with one another.

Don't run away from the present; human feelings are more important than a football game or work deadlines. The right time is now, so don't make any excuses; just do it.

When you face an emotionally tough situation with courage, honesty and integrity, you set yourself free and feel good about yourself. You’ll come across as a trustworthy, confident and smart individual if you can learn to say no when it's necessary.

Honest relationships are always cherished, relished and remembered for a long time, regardless of whether they made it to the end or not. There is a timeless trust and bond that two people share when the foundations of a relationship are based on trust and honesty.

We usually avoid the awkward, yet most important conversations because of the fear of change or fear of hurting someone. Therefore, don't do or say something if you don't mean it. Don’t get carried away and take things too far if you can’t handle the consequences.

When you know that someone is falling head-over-heels for you and you don’t feel the same, be honest, take responsibility and have the talk.

It’s the only right thing to do. Don’t allow yourself to make any excuses. Be strong and do what you have to do to avoid heartbreaks and drama. Truth has only one version, so stick to it.

Photo via Lair Lair