I’ll start this article with very simple example: We all love fruits! There are a lot of fruits out there; however, the taste defines the specific type of fruit that you favor the most. Well, same thing is true with people; every person has his or her own individuality, which points to specific characteristics of a person. Why would an apple try to be a peach?
Why should your uniqueness be changed into something ordinary? Individuality is a very important part of being a human — it defines oneself. There are a lot of reasons people believe one should change, but I want to discuss why you shouldn't change, but instead, why you should improve. One delicious and juicy apple is worth thousands of regular peaches.
The difference between change and improvement is very easy to understand: change is temporary and improvement is permanent. Change is for a temporary feeling one may have due to circumstances. Improvement means to permanently change oneself in the name of ones self. Change only makes you stronger when it’s an improvement from your current situation.
I hear all the time that something may be “a good change” or “ a bad change.” You can change your job or your home address, but what’s inside of you requires more than just a “change,” it requires constant search and improvement. As an example, consider the idea of love. When we're in love, we like to “change” ourselves to appeal more to our partners.
Love is powerful, especially when you mentally decide that you are in love. Let’s say you are in love (or you think you are in love) and the person with whom you are in love tells you to change. You, of course, being in love, go ahead and change for someone. Maybe it’s a temporarily, yet recurring aesthetic change (“he/she wants me to change the color of my hair again”). Constant change leads to lack of confidence and general uncertainty. Therefore, rule number one: never change for anyone.
Not only will you ultimately be heartbroken but you will also be unsatisfied with yourself. Instead, work to improve yourself! Before changing your hair color, understand your possibilities and analyze your partner’s desires. Don’t just change because he or she wants you to do it, change it because you want to. Why would you go blonde if you’re naturally a brunette? Blonde with black eyebrows? Yeah… don’t do it!
Before deciding to love someone or let someone love you, work on yourself. Understand what you like, what you are and what makes you. Build your individuality on your experiences — create the energy that makes you sparkle. Improve your physical appearance and personality characteristics. Keep learning and exploring because ultimately, it’s most important that you feel satisfied with what and who you are.
Improvement requires a lot of work. You are the only person who needs to understand where you need to improve. If you know that lifting weights is better for you than spending nights on the couch and that the right diet will make your body the way you want it to be, work on it until you see the results. If you know that learning how to listen will improve your relationship, learn how to listen until you notice results.
If you know that by improving a certain skill, you will get you the job you want, work on it until you see the results. It is difficult to start, but when you see results, you’ll never want to give up — you create your individuality. Be honest with yourself and continue to improve upon your uniqueness.