Keeping A Shirt On While Having Sex Makes Me Feel More Comfortable In Bed

Back when I was 14 and thought Cosmo was still giggle-worthy, I remember the emphasis on being naked during sex. It was all about turning on the lights, being confident and letting your boobs shake all over the place. No guy is going to care about your tummy when you're already on top of him, right?

It wasn't quite body positive yet; this concept has only really blossomed in recent years. The discourse changed from letting your partner enjoy your body to making sure you are enjoying your body. Regardless of stretch marks, moles, adipose tissue, shape of hips, size of breasts, etc., you should be naked because you're damn glorious.

Well, you are damn glorious, don't get me wrong. I just don't understand the push to always be naked during sex. Of course, there are moments when it feels great to rub your skin against someone else's to get those hair-raising goose bumps. Sure, it feels nice to rub your hands through chest hair, but does this always have to be the case?

Look at all the erotic fiction and movie-produced one-night stands where a skirt is lifted for easy-access, or a zipper is subtly undone (or not so subtly, whichever). It's totally hot, in the moment and … fully clothed.

But what about the in-between? Where is all the partially-clothed sex?

We've all heard of the “sock study” by Dutch Professor Gert Holstege. He reports that wearing socks increases the chance of female orgasms, mainly due to the fact that socks promote warmth and comfort. We know that female orgasms can be negatively affected by stress, anxiety or discomfort, so if wearing socks helps combat those emotions, then being warm and cozy is definitely worth it.

Having a partner with a sock fetish would be ideal, but for those of us who don't, wearing socks isn't always the sexiest idea. But good news! There are other options.

I personally love wearing a t-shirt during any sexual activities. I can remove everything else, just don't ask me to take off my t-shirt. For me, it is definitely that idea of being warm and comfortable. I am not self-conscious about my body, and I am not trying to cover up parts of me I don't like. I just genuinely feel more comfortable with a t-shirt on. My partner can feel me up or can move the t-shirt for easier access, but there is something I love about keeping a t-shirt on.

What if clothing is kept on because someone is self-conscious? Does it matter? While moving away from body shaming, we can sometimes shame those who haven't yet completely embraced their bodies. If someone keeps her bra done up because that's how she feels her sexiest, then why is that frowned upon? Why do we need to be “liberated” from our cozy cotton?

Why does everyone need to throw their naked bodies at others? It doesn't even have to be a bra, it can be anything from socks, to crotchless latex panties, to scarfs or gloves. There are plenty of people who have sex with harnesses and briefs, BDSM gear or furries or really anything you can possibly think of. If it makes them feel sexy, isn't that all that matters, when we're talking about sex?

I don't know why we always have to push for one extreme or the other. There is a whole group of us constantly wearing some clothing or accessory during intimate moments. The point should be to make sure you are comfortable doing whatever you want to do, whether it is naked, fully clothed or somewhere in between. For me, that means wearing a t-shirt. For you, that means whatever you want.