There are times in life when you may feel like everything is working against you, when there are obstacles in the way of you reaching your goals and you are close to just giving up.
But, what if you are the main obstacle in your way? Sometimes, you can be your own worst enemy.
And why, may you ask, would someone be in his or her own way of happiness?
Well, of course, this is not a conscious decision.
It happens when the subconscious starts reacting to a number of outcomes: fear, failure, not knowing what might happen next, confidence issues and so on.
At some point, we all have been victims of auto-sabotage, or those moments when you get on your own way of succeeding.
We may be afraid of what would happen if we reached the goal we pursued so long, or maybe we think failure would be too much to handle.
This is something that is more common than you think, and the worst part is you don’t realize it’s happening.
But don’t worry, there’s a solution for this and it’s all about self-awareness.
So, whenever you feel like you're getting in your own way, try these tips to avoid being a victim of self-sabotage:
1. Identify it.
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. When there’s certain goal you want to reach, you may begin to make excuses about why you can’t make it happen.
Evaluate whether these are true obstacles or just fears of the unknown. Are you just afraid of putting all your effort into something and not getting the results you want?
2. Stop focusing on the negatives of the situation.
Take a break, look back at the goals you’ve reached and think about those things you can change to create an impact in your life and get you closer to where you want to be.
If you get stuck, remember that it takes time to get things done. Find inspiration, read a book on the subject, ask for help. Work on it and keep trying.
3. Be confident in who you are and what you are capable of.
Being aware of your strengths is key. If you need, make a list of them and keep it near you so every time you start having doubts, you will remind yourself of how capable you are.
4. Don’t let the fear of failure conquer you.
Failing sucks. We don’t want to fail, but don’t let this be a reason for not trying. Failure is part of life, and you can also learn from it. So, get out of your comfort zone and try.
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
If you are having a hard time, stop, take a break and think. You don’t have to be perfect or have all the answers. Give yourself space to grow.
6. Take control of your life.
Assume responsibility for your life and know that you control your reactions. It’s often easy to blame others for what we don’t like about our own lives.
After all, it’s difficult to admit that we may be the primary causes of living in situations we don’t particularly like or enjoy.
The truth is, you are the only person who can make a change in how you live. Sure, the motivation may come from the outside at times, but it’s all on you.
You're the one who can take the next step and really know, deep down, what’s going on.
7. Observation is key.
What is causing you to hang on to what is harming you? What feelings are causing it? What makes you so attached to it?
All of these questions are key to grasping the root of the problem. Take some time to analyze the situation, your feelings and thoughts.
8. Be honest.
Admit to yourself that you’re experiencing difficulties. Know that is not a weakness and that we all get stuck at least once in our lives.
Stop running away from it and face it, even if it’s challenging and unpleasant. The moment you recognize you are having a problem is the day you will start figuring it out.
9. Be flexible.
In your way of pursuing a goal, you may realize you need to change it or maybe even walk away from it, and that’s okay. Be flexible; you can change your mind in the process.
Everything that really matters in life takes time and effort, but if you do achieve it, it’s worth it.
Every time you try, the experience will make you grow and you will realize you’ve learned from it. Because of that, you will be a better version of yourself.