These songs still remind me of you.
These songs remind me of every drive we took to grab food or head to a party.
These songs remind me of every late night spent eating cookie dough and watching ridiculous movies on Netflix that neither of us ended up liking.
These songs remind me of every fight we had because we always worked through them and made up.
You know, except for that last time.
This used to be my favorite band.
These used to be my favorite songs.
I'd put them on every playlist.
Whether I was working out, getting ready or spending time with you, they were always good to listen to.
When you weren't there, I could play our favorite song and pretend you were right next to me.
But, you left.
As much as I tried to listen to those songs again, I couldn't pretend anymore.
You were really gone.
Every time that song popped up from then on out, I had to skip it.
I had to find a song we never shared, a song that was never ours.
I realized we had shared too much after I gave up on arguing my way back into a relationship with you.
That was never going to work anyway.
We both knew it, but I was willing to try everything.
I realized we had shared too much when I couldn't bring myself to listen to my favorite music.
I couldn't continue watching the same shows we started together because that empty spot on the couch was more than I was willing to face.
For a good long while, that was the person I understood myself to be.
I was someone who liked these songs, watched these shows and spent his time with that girl.
But, all of that was gone.
Everything I enjoyed was now everything that reminded me of what I had lost.
I wanted to blame myself.
I could never begin to blame her.
But, I couldn't listen to different music.
I didn't really like other shows.
I stopped going out with my friends because I thought I might see her, and we all know how that ends up.
I still listen to those songs. I re-watch those shows.
I go out and party because I realized that somewhere out there, there's going to be another perfect person who breaks my heart.
I believe every day of grieving is worth just one minute with a person who makes you feel like you aren't alone anymore.
I got back into my hobbies.
I started doing the things I love all over again.
I learned to let go of every part of you I attached to those things every time I do them without you.
But I know that someday, there will be someone else I can trust and share my life with.
Things will either end with her as well, or we'll be together forever.
This is the duality of the Pisces.
We swim in circles. We are twofold.
Where there is one good thing, there are many good things that will follow.
Where there is one bad thing, expect the miserable months to affect everyone you come across.
It seems so emotional.
It seems so weak for a guy to be brought to the brink of tears every time he hears a song, just because it reminds him of a girl.
When you dump so much of your trust and emotional happiness into one person, it's bound to happen.
There is no stopping it.
Every time the cycle starts over, I am constantly reminded things will end or last forever.
There really is no middle ground for me.
The Pisces man is one who sleeps alone out of failures, not choice.
The Pisces man is one who cares for everyone and everything, and he is filled with pain when empathy is not turned in his direction.
Should we expect people to be there for us during every emotional hiccup we come across?
No, that's insane.
But, you'd hope there would someone there some of the time.
Am I attributing my roller coaster of a life to the star sign I was born under?
Not everyone who is a Pisces deals with the things I do.
Not everyone who deals with the things I do is a Pisces.
I happen to fall into both categories, making me so very perfectly Pisces.
I cry more than most, but I laugh a lot, too.
I'll joke around a lot, but I'll also say hurtful things to you.
There's no consistency as these little fish swim in their circles, bringing the best with the good and the worst with the bad.
There is no stopping them.
There is no bad thing on a good day, and no good thing on a bad day.
People tell you to quit being a pussy, and they start asking what happened to the old you.
"He's still here," I have to tell them.
You just have to wait until he swims back upstream.
People understand when women take things emotionally, but guys?
"Come on, dude. Let's go get you drunk. Forget about what happened."
For a lot of people, that's enough.
But not for a Pisces.
A Pisces must wait for the cycle to complete.
No matter how hard he swims or fights, the pressure will keep him down.
Time does heal all, as they say.
It just takes longer for someone like me.
But someday, things will be wonderful. Those are the days I'm waiting for right now.
Your horoscope will never be the be-all and end-all of your day-to-day life.
Such broad and sweeping statements about fortune, friends and relationships could be attributed to any number of situations.
It isn't magic, and it can't always be accurate.
This isn't about me trying to sell you the zodiac.
Sometimes, you just end up being an archetypal mess of a person.
It's infinitely more comforting to realize there are others in the world going through the same things you are.
I think that's the real power of the zodiac.
Somewhere in the world, there's another Pisces just like me.
I know I'm not alone.