When Your Sarcasm Went Undetected: 18 Times Texting Ruined Your Life

by Dan Scotti

Don't get me wrong: Text messaging is a very useful tool.

When emergencies strike -- or you are in a place where you can't talk aloud -- text messages are a very efficient way to get your point across in a pinch.

In today's day and age, however, texting has become something entirely different. In 2015, text messages aren't solely reserved for emergency situations -- no, not at all. Today, they've become the primary source of communication.

And because of this new found prevalence, people tend to take these SMS messages with a great deal of seriousness, and if you're not well-versed with regard to the customs of texting etiquette, it's likely that you'll find yourself on the outside of some big, text-heavy bubble.

And, frankly, you're not so sure that you want to be on the inside of it, either. You hate texting. You find it to be a complete and utter nuisance.

Why spend the time typing out some elaborate text message when you could just pick up the phone and tell them yourself?

That's how you personally feel, but apparently, the rest of the world disagrees with you. So you decide to say "f*ck it" and conform to the rest of society's premier mode of communication.

And with that, you opened yourself up to a myriad of new-aged issues -- from having to master "texting etiquette" to countless misunderstandings with friends and lovers.

As a matter a fact, this whole texting thing -- it's been ruining your life.

Here are 18 times you've been sure of that.

1. People think you’re passive-aggressive for using read receipts.

When, in reality, you actually wanted to bypass the whole “passive” part and actively let people know when you're ignoring them.

2. When you use a period for proper grammar and people assume you’re mad at them.

No, no, no, I don't hate you. I hate incorrect grammar and sonnet-length run-on sentences.

3. When you know the people you’re texting need something, yet they continue to beat around the bush.

Like the short precursory spiel about "the weather" before your friend (who you haven't spoke to in months) asks to borrow your car.

4. When you text “k” and apparently are being “short.”

If you would've added one more letter and said "ok," it wouldn't have been at all noteworthy.

5. When people text you unimportant sh*t.

And then get upset if you're not equally as enthusiastic about what they should order for breakfast.

6. When people use hashtags in SMS texts.

The whole point of a hashtag is to start a global conversation. The whole point of SMS texting is to keep a conversation private.

7. When you accidentally send someone a photo that you didn’t mean to send.

Yeah, that's not me posing in the mirror -- it's my twin.

8. When you realize you’ve been staring at those three dots for like 45 minutes, now.

Ok, so either she's texting me one hell of a love letter -- or she forgot to hit send. Only time will tell.

9. When your parents sign off on each text, with like "~Mom."

Yeah, ~Mom, we know it's you... it says it right at the top of the conversation. You don't have to add a signature to every single text message.

10. When you receive the same meme for the ninety-eighth time in one day.

Ahhhhh, nice, this meme again... you've only sent it to me every day since you found it on Reddit.

11. When you get thrusted into a group text and can’t get out.

And the next time you check your phone, you have 68 unread messages, none of which you actually want to read.

12. When your sarcasm doesn’t get detected from across the phone line.

And people get ready to call the 911 emergency squad after you said you're “dying” during a not-so-funny joke.

13. When you’re out to dinner with your friends, and they’re out to dinner with their phones.

Nothing says "I wish I got delivery" more than dinner plans with a bunch of people whose faces are plastered to their phones, while they scroll through Instagram.

14. When you get drunk and text your ex(es).

F*ck. F*ck. Fuck. Fcuk. FUkc. Ltes jhust f*cK?

15. When you get high and can’t text anyone.

Come to think of it, you can't find your phone either -- not that you really care.

16. When someone replies with all emoji.

What the f*ck, is this supposed to be Pictionary? I can't read symbols.

17. When people text you from a number you don't have saved, and you try to come up with polite ways to tell them you don't know who they are.

New phone, who dis?

18. When people don't take hints from the first seven times you ignored them.

If this were a job interview, I'd hire them on the sole grounds of persistence.