25 And Struggling: I Used To Think People My Age Were Actually Adults
When we were younger, the most common question we were asked was “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
When I was asked that question, I answered with the age 25 in mind.
Now that I'm actually 25, I don't know what the f*ck my childhood self was thinking because, more often than not, I have to skip meals just to pay bills.
I don't know what kind of reality I was striving for, but it's pretty damn evident it isn't happening anytime soon. And you know what? I'm pretty okay with it.
Sure, I may be currently shopping for a dress to wear to someone else's wedding, but it's a hell of a lot better than shopping for a dress for my own wedding.
But isn't it weird that we're at that age?
You know, the age when some of our closest friends are moving in with their significant others while others are still blacking out on a Tuesday?
Somedays I wish I was part of the former, and sometimes I wish I was part of the latter, but one thing is for certain -- I've never felt older.
So what sad realizations are our childhood selves in for?
1. I thought I'd be engaged by now, but I'm still trying to download the best dating apps.
2. I thought I'd be able to perfect a home-cooked meal, but I'm still resorting to online food delivery.
3. I thought I’d have the perfect apartment, but I'm still sharing it with three roommates.
4. I thought I'd know how to dress business casual, but I'm still wearing crop tops to work.
5. I thought I'd be a VP, but I'm still making minimum wage.
6. I thought I'd be having a glass of wine over fancy dinners, but I'm still taking shots to the face at dive bars.
7. I thought I'd have the perfect resume, but I'm still Googling how to write a cover letter.
8. I thought I'd have an assistant, but I'm just finishing up an internship.
9. I thought my future was guaranteed, but I still need a guarantor.
10. I thought I'd have a husband, but I can't even commit to a first date.
11. I thought I'd have a 401K, but I don't even have $401.
12. I thought I’d be sharing my life, but I won’t even share my chips.
13. I thought I'd know how to do my taxes, but my dad is definitely still doing my taxes.
14. I thought I'd have a job with benefits, but I can't even get a friend with benefits.
15. I thought I'd be trying to have a baby, but I'm still whining like a baby.
16. I thought I'd be responsible, but I don't even know what that means.
17. I thought I'd be managing my own kids, but I still need a babysitter when I drink.
18. I thought I’d be finished with my degree, but all I can finish is a bottle of wine.
19. I thought I’d have paid off my student loans, but I don’t even pay my own phone bill.
20. I thought I’d be traveling the world, but I can’t even get off my couch.
21. I thought I'd be off making a movie, but I'm still perfecting my Netflix queue from my bed.
22. I thought my relationship with my parents would improve, and it did but only when I need money.
23. I thought I'd be drinking cocktails with my fabulous friends, but I'm still smuggling flasks into the club.
24. I thought I’d be calling the shots, but I’m just taking them.
25. I thought I'd have my own house, but I can barely make monthly rent.
26. I thought I'd be a CEO, but I'm still getting my boss coffee.
27. I thought I'd have already traveled the world, but I can barely afford a flight within the country.
28. I thought I'd have a closet full of designer clothes, but I still shop at Forever 21.
29. I thought I'd be an expert chef by now, but I can't even microwave something correctly.
30. I thought I'd be living in luxury, but I still can't make ends meet.
31. I thought I'd have a black card, but I still use my blue Chase debit card.
32. I thought I'd have a stable relationship, but I can't even get a guy to text me back.
33. I thought I'd be attending fancy, exclusive events, but the most red carpet experience I have is going through a fast food drive-thru in an Uber.
34. I thought I'd have a huge savings account, but the only savings I have I transfer to my checking account on a daily basis.
35. I thought I'd have a clear career path by now, but I still sit miserably in my cubicle.
36. I thought I'd have endless friends, but now I only want to surround myself with real ones.
For more of her thoughts, humor and ridiculous opinions follow Ashley Fern on Instagram and Twitter.