5 Ways We Sabotage Our Own Happiness Without Even Knowing

by Sharde Green

Let's face it — we spend an enormous amount of time sabotaging our own lives. We subconsciously discourage ourselves in a way that kills our chances of attaining true happiness.

Consider all of the times you thought you wouldn’t get a certain job, the relationship you were seeking or the chance to truly fulfill your dreams. It's time to start realizing that we can have everything we want if we step away from the negativity and claim complete control over our happiness. Here are the common ways we deviate from this path to happiness:

1. We Assume.

Assuming anything will always lead to nothing. Prime example: Girl loves Guy. Guy does the bare minimum to show Girl he adores her. So in turn, she assumes that he does not. She spends so much time nagging, crying and begging for attention that she refuses to understand the reason why he connects with her so differently.

Girl ignores signs that he has a hard time giving himself to someone because he fears being alone. He musters up the courage to express his doubts but by now, Girl is done with the struggle and leaves it all behind.

Love. Sabotaged.

2. We Overthink.

Greetings to all of my fellow over-thinkers out there! Stop it, stop it now! Life presents us with so many chances to stop and smell the roses. Learn to take things at face value.

For instance, consider a promotion you want. You've worked hard, and naturally, you believe that your turn is coming. Days pass by and nothing happens for you, but for everyone around you. Naturally, you begin to think of either a million more ways to get it, or a million ways that you are not worthy of getting ahead. You begin to over-analyze everything from previous conversations with the boss to minor mishaps in judgment to your appearance.

We must learn to cleanse our thoughts and realize that we are truly "good enough." Or, make the decision to move on.

Career growth. Sabotaged.

3. We Make Excuses.

So what if things get difficult. We aren't meant to have all of the answers and life isn't meant to be easy. It's important to not lose sight of the bigger picture by making excuses and simply not trying. Take, for instance, a young man with an extensive criminal record. He sets out to explore job opportunities in his community but is shunned by every employer he encounters.

He feels as if he'll never get past his mistakes and never achieve success. He sits on his mom's couch, day in and day out, feeling defeated by society and eventually, stops his search. He battles with thoughts of returning to the streets to earn money. His mom cries out for him to just get a real job, but he's hung up on the ideas that "no one will hire him" and "looking for a job is useless." Had he looked a mile further, he likely would've found a job fair that focuses on hiring ex-cons.

Future. Sabotaged.

4. We Never Truly Learn From Our Mistakes.

Learning from mistakes. Is that even an actual possibility? Every hiccup is different and no mistakes are the same. A woman can be cheated on in every relationship she's ever had and it's obviously not her fault, though in some ways, it could be.

It’s important to understand that part of the woman's mistake is her penchant for men who have similar characteristics to her past, failed relationships. Let's be clear, no one can ever know what to expect in a relationship and by no means does the betrayed bear the burden of fault. But, I can say with confidence that if you seek a carbon copy of your failed relationship, you may just get the same result. This analogy is obviously not limited to just the scope of relationships.

Commitment. Sabotaged.

5. We Have To Learn To Take It Easy On Ourselves.

It’s important that we stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. Blame Instagram and Facebook all you want, but we're responsible for relinquishing all power to social platforms.

Let's face it — if you're not on "Rich Kids Of Beverly Hills" or @SoDraya, you may not ever become one. This is not your reality, nor should you feel the pressure to live up to what society deems to be perfect. Learn to be the best version of yourself. It's okay that you don't have it all figured out. There's absolutely no one in your brain who looks down on you or faults you for it. If there is, you should adjust your way of thinking.

Reality. Sabotaged.

Photo courtesy: Daily Joy FR