As you transition into the real world, the habits you developed in college just won't fly. That one shot that will more than definitely throw you over the edge just isn’t an option anymore.
Blacking out six nights a week and eating a pie of pizza to your face is also no longer acceptable. Don’t worry, adulthood (ew) can be just as fun if not better than your former years.
It’s all about behavior modification and keeping up with the times. How do you know if it’s time to shape up and get your sh*t together? Well there are a ton of indicators you can look at to decide whether or not you need to make a change in your life.
You’ve said to yourself more than five times: “I’m never drinking again…”
This phrase has been exhausted by probably every single one of your friends in college, but if you are still saying sh*t like this in the post-grad world, it’s time to change your habits. It’s not a good look (it never was, who are you kidding?) to have your best friend carry you out of whatever bar you were at that night.
You go out more than you stay in
It’s okay to stay in on a Friday night -- I know this seems like a waste of a night, but really your body will thank you. If you don’t feel up to it and are exhausted from the long week, it is okay to rest and to catch up on your sleep.
If your lifelong friends who have been by your side partying for years call a meeting to discuss your behavior -- it’s time to get your sh*t together. These are the people closest to you and are basically aware of your every move. They have your best interest at heart when it comes down to it, so you better start listening. They don’t want to see you get into a bad situation, so instead of becoming defensive, you should open your mind.
Kirill Was Here
You black out every time you go out
What’s the point of going out if you can’t even remember the night you had? How do you know if you even had fun? Is it actually fun if you don’t remember? If you are still blacking out and waking up in unfamiliar places, then it’s more than time to get your sh*t together. Maybe that was excusable in college but now it’s just downright embarrassing.
Substituting alcohol for food
Chances are your funds are limited as you enter the real world. This can put a damper on your partying expenses. If you are going so far as to replace meals with booze, b*tch you got problems.
You can’t do anything on your own
If you still need someone to accompany you to the bathroom, it’s time to reevaluate your life choices. You are a mature (somewhat) 20-something, you can handle going to the bathroom by yourself! I know this is more directed towards the ladies, but you get the point. Running errands and going shopping are obviously activities that you would like company for, but honestly it’s just not necessary.
You can’t remember the last time your exercised
This sh*t is important people! Your metabolism is slowing down every day. Don’t wait until you REALLY need to lose weight to get in shape, by that time it may be too late. Start now and your future self will thank you. Put down the doughnut and pick up your sneakers.
You think microwaving food is cooking
If you can’t cook yourself at least one meal that you can eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner -- it’s time to get your sh*t together. Obviously it’s much easier to just order food and to reheat the leftovers for a later meal, but it’s not an attractive quality if you can’t cook (this goes for both men and woman). You are an adult; you need to learn how to take care of yourself!
You live at home and are unemployed
Living at home is fine if you are employed and trying to save money, but if you are a recent grad who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to rest on your laurels while mooching off your parents -- you need a dose of reality. This sh*t will only fly for so long before your parents get sick of it and kick you out.
You’ve had a relationship end because of a drunken altercation
If your partner broke up with you because of your partying habits that should be a huge wake up call to get your life in order. If personal relationships (including friendships) are suffering because of inconsequential bullsh*t, like drinking, maybe you just are not mature enough to handle them right now. That’s fine up until a point, but now is the time to grow the F up.
Bonus: Your name is Miley Cyrus or Amanda Bynes
This chick really hits the nail on the head with this “Do You Have Your Sh*t Together” Video:
Top photo: Warner Bros/ Hangover