What To Do If You're The 'Strong' Friend And You're Facing A Breakdown


I really didn't want to be the one to write the "damsel in distress" articles lately, but I just can't help it.

I've had a few rough days. I'm on the job hunt, I'm dissatisfied with my lack of social life and I cope with depression from time to time.

Of course, I don't want to dismiss the situations of others who might be going through even worse situations. I commend those people and wish them all the best for their lives.

I just can't help but admit that, sometimes, you can't just "be strong and get over it."

Sometimes, I have days where I want to ball up and cry. I don't, though, because we're taught from a young age to be strong, no matter the situation.

Showing our pain and tears is seen as a weakness. There may be people who have had the worst day ever and feel like crying in public, but they won't in fear of public shame. However, there's only so much a person can take sometimes.

We are human, and our feelings often run rampant. It seems like we're constantly grappling with who we are, where we stand in this world and how we're supposed to make everything work, all of which are enough to leave any person emotional.

As a twenty-something, what bothers me is the feeling of loneliness that comes about simply from lack of support.

Friends may be around, but often, they're too caught up in their own situations to be there for you. Then again, they may not be there at all, simply because the friendship may dwindle and fade overtime. You're left there, again, alone with your feelings.

I spoke with my mom the other day and asked her why she's so afraid to express herself? Why do we tend to fear expressing our emotions, especially the negative ones? It could be that we believe expressing ourselves will be an unnecessary burden to other people.

Perhaps we're embarrassment by our situations, or we believe that no one else will understand. More often then not, however,  many people, even your own friends, go through the same emotional turmoil. We should never be afraid to let our emotions unravel the way they need to.

If you feel joy today, allow yourself to feel it immensely. Don't judge yourself if you feel intensely sad the next day, but instead, find healthy ways to cope, as it will pass. You can eat a good meal, talk to a friend, get some fresh air, write about it, sing or use another healthy coping method that makes you feel better.

Being a 20-something can be rough, regardless of what anyone else says. There are new responsibilities, roles and experiences that might take a toll on us, but we won't be at this stage forever. Figuring out ways to make our lives more enjoyable right now is the most important.

Above all else, realize that you are entitled to your feelings and that being strong all the time may not always be possible.

For anyone out there struggling, I feel for you completely. Know we are in this together. You are strong, but it's OK to be human, too.