It’s the most wonderful time of year.
This means there are a few weeks of cold, hectic, overwhelming, crazy, mall-filled days leading up to something many people view as the most wonderful time of year.
I work at the Victoria’s Secret flagship store in New York, so not only do I have those sh*tty days myself, I have to deal with hundreds of thousands of people who are also dealing with those sh*tty days.
They're not just any people. They're mean New Yorkers, mean Americans from out of state and mean tourists from other countries.
Working in retail is a whole other world.
You literally have to tune people out or you might go crazy (aka, punch somebody in the face).
You know it’s really bad when — after dealing with one nasty customer after another — once someone is finally nice enough to act like a decent human being, you regain hope in humanity and act like that person is the nicest person to have walked the face of the earth.
So yes, working in retail is not for the faint of heart, especially during the holidays.
Maybe you haven’t worked in retail before, so you don’t understand this. Or maybe you’re just an assh*le who doesn’t really care.
But just get in the spirit, spread the holiday cheer and listen.
Here are seven ways you can do your part and not be a sh*tty customer:
1. Say "thank you."
Being nice will actually get you very far while shopping.
Do you think sales associates will go out of their way to help entitled people who think employees should kiss the ground they walk on because they’re buying $20 t-shirts?
No. I will not go in the back to check for you.
You’re an assh*le, and I want to stop talking to you.
Saying "thank you" is just common courtesy. I don’t know how grown people forget to say something they are taught to say as children.
Just remember: I get paid to help you, not be your servant.
2. Don’t complain about how long the lines are.
I get it: Some cashiers actually suck.
Some of them don’t know what they’re doing. Some cashiers are fooling around instead of being fast and efficient.
But if you see a cashier actually running around, being quick and pretty much out of breath from talking so much and so fast, why are you being a dick?
Don’t tell me you’re in a rush and I need to hurry up. If you're in a rush, you shouldn’t be shopping right now.
You should be getting your sh*t done.
If you think we like to be short-staffed, you’re wrong. We’re telling our managers we need support every five minutes.
We can’t even take our own breaks. So don’t go and tell me we need to open all the registers.
The same thing is true with fitting rooms.
How are you going to rush the employee when the customer is the one in the fitting room? It really makes no sense to me.
3. If you’re not called next, don’t automatically walk up to a cashier.
Sometimes our register is closed, and by coming automatically to the cash register, you f*cked everything up for everyone else.
Once again, if you’re in a rush, why are you here?
More importantly, why are you at my register when I didn’t call you?
I haven’t eaten in six hours. I need to go.
4. If you need help, just ask.
You can save us all time by just asking for help.
Sales associates can get on your last nerve, especially when they’re trying to make commission.
But that doesn’t mean you need to mess up a whole table of clothes to find your size when everything on top is a medium and everything in the drawer is sized.
5. Don’t cut people off when they speak.
I am forced to ask you if you need any help. I am forced to ask if you've found everything okay.
I am forced to ask if you want a Victoria’s Secret Angel Store credit card.
Don’t cut me off for doing my job. It's rude.
6. Realize the customer is not always right.
Despite what you’re told, no. You’re not always right.
I can’t give you this for free. That item is not on sale.
I cannot honor this two-year-old, expired coupon.
Realize I can lose my job for doing something the customer thinks is “right.”
So, the moral is this: Don’t act like a child, and don’t be an assh*le.
Then maybe, we can all have a happy holiday season.