20 Signs You're In A Full Blown Relationship With Coffee

by Julie Weinstock
Gillian Vann

Everyone has seen you two together.

In fact, it's strange for people to see you two apart. As much as you might not like to admit it, it's no secret. Things between you and coffee have gotten pretty serious.

It's OK. Everyone needs their morning pick-me-up, or their evening relaxation method or, you know, their drug of choice.

Here are 20 telltale signs you're in too deep with coffee:

1. You Put It Before Everything.

All sounds before you have your first sip are irrelevant. Oh, someone's been trying to talk to you for the last hour? Nope, coffee first.

2. Everyone Knows Your Order.

Your friends. Your family. The entire staff at Starbucks.

Nothing's wrong with your coffee being made the second you walk in, nothing at all.

3. Diners Are Your Favorite.

Free refills? How wonderful! *Eight cups later*

4. Laboring Tasks Call For More Caffeine.

Your friends want to go to the gym for two hours, your boss wants you to start a new project and you're going to see your least favorite person at a family reunion. All of these are jobs that you need coffee to get through. I swear.

5. Your Friends Try To Lure You With It.

If you're hesitant about a plan your friends use this go-to line: "We can get coffee first!" You fall for it every. Single. Time.

6. Employees Are Shocked When You Drink Anything Else.

You drink water sometimes too? What? Don't even attempt to order green tea. The workers will have a heart attack.

7. People Assume You're An Energetic Person.

Oh yeah, you're naturally an energizer bunny. It has nothing to do with coffee.

8. Caffeine Never Gives You The Jitters.

Your friends complain that too much coffee makes their hands shake, but nope, not you. Caffeine is practically as soothing as spending a day at the spa.

9. You Love When People Suggest Coffee Dates.

Good conversation and a warm cup of joe? What could be better?

10. People Have Tried To Help You With Your "Coffee Problem."

You've explained that the actual problem is when you don't have coffee. They all refuse to listen.

11. You're Deeply Offended When Starbucks Messes Up Your Name.

You practically own Starbucks. How could they not know your name by now? You should probably sue.

12. Your Mood Goes From Three To 10 With Every New Cup.

Some people say "too much of anything isn't good." Well, that can't apply to happiness. (Which, in your life, translates to espresso.)

13. Now That You Say That, Coffee Sounds Like A Great Idea.

Go ahead, this article will still be here.

14. Jokes, You've Been Drinking Coffee This Entire Time.

Just keeping it real. It's a no-judgment zone over here.

15. You Pre-ordered The New Alarm Clock That Wakes You Up With A Fresh Cup Of Joe.

All your friends sent you links about the Barisieur. Who cares about the price? Your dreams are finally coming to life!

16. You've Made That Joke About Needing An IV Of Caffeine.

This is absolutely a joke ... you'd never do that. *Cough, cough*

17. People Who Don't Like Coffee Freak You Out.

Amateurs. It must be impossible for them to get things done.

18. You've Used The “I Need To Warm Up” Or “I Need To Cool Down.” Excuse To Get More

A warm cup is like a hug on a cold day, and an iced cup in the summer is the most refreshing thing on this planet. (These are just seasonal needs, they have nothing to do with your love for coffee.)

19. You've Come To Accept That You May Never Like Anyone Half As Much As You Like Coffee.

If you're going to be with someone, they need to appreciate the drink just as much as you do.

20. Your World Doesn't Work Until You Have That Fresh Cup In Front Of You.

And once you do, everything makes sense.

Yes, I know you're going to get another refill after reading this. It's OK, you're in a steamy relationship. Let it happen.