Lifestyle

How I Learned To Stop Being Offended By The Word 'No'

by Sonya Matejko

This week alone, a man rejected my speaking proposal. Even my cat was in on it when he ignored me for days.

I shed a few tears when I got the rejection email outlining that my speech had lost the numbers game. I slammed a door when said man rejected me while hailing me a cab.

I chased my cat for attention, but he hid under the bed, out of my reach.

These were moments I felt really loved, obviously.

I sent out the required group texts that sounded like “Men suck” and “My career is over.” I let myself mourn for about 30 minutes, but then I stopped.

I let it sink in. I let myself feel the disappointment, and then, I made the proactive decision to move on.

I would not let a “no” stop me from looking for another “yes.”

I decided right there it was not a step back, but a reason to jump forward.

So I jumped.

I tripped at first (literally in the rain, actually).

But I got up and kept going.

That’s what you have to do. You have to keep going.

There is no boy good enough to make you waste your time moping around. There is no email that will end your life.

There is no fight with a friend that should ever end a relationship.

There is no opportunity that won’t come again in a new form. There is no chance you missed because it wasn’t the one you were meant to take.

There is no type of rejection that should make you feel rejected.

Instead, every time you hear you a "no," you should say "yes" to life.

Go find a better man to hold your hand. Go get a job that makes you excited to wake up in the morning.

Start your adventure to discover other opportunities.

Search for the next chance to show up. You’ll know it came just when you needed it.

Don’t stop moving toward all the things you deserve.

If you stop, you’re giving in to the rejection. At that point, you’re proving you didn’t deserve it.

So show the world not only did you deserve it,  you deserve even more.

You will get it with a little bit of elbow grease and heavy dreams.

After my week of straight rejections, I went out and bought myself flowers. I sweat it out in hot yoga.

I spent hours researching where else I could speak. I deleted a phone number.

I put on my favorite color of lipstick, and I felt good about it.

In a little time, those rejections stopped mattering to me.

At the end of the day, I felt motivated and excited by what was next.

Those "nos" pushed me. They inspired me.

Now, I’m ready to take on the world like a badass.

So, you can tell me “no” 100 times, but it’s not going to stop me.

I’m going to smile and say “Thank you for your time,” before I flip my hair and stride on.

Hopefully, I won’t fall in the rain each time. But hey, sh*t happens.

This is all a journey, and I’m not going to stop exploring it because someone didn’t recognize what fantastic looks like.

Give in to the disappointment.

Embrace it.

Mourn for a little bit, but then snap out of it.

Go celebrate the next part of your life because it’s going to be amazing if you keep moving.

Keep collecting rejections and make a freakin' collage out of them.

Eventually, all of those rejections will turn into the few '"yeses" you were meant for.

So go ahead and tell me "no." I’ll just say "yes" to more.