The Pros And Cons List You Can't Ignore When Deciding To Go Out On A Friday

by Sophie Lindemann

Ah, Friday night. The night when the only goal is to rid ourselves of the week we somehow survived.

Maybe it consisted of your passive-aggressive boss forcing you wake up 25 minutes early to get a Grande Mocha Soy Latte with light whipped cream, one pump of vanilla and cinnamon sprinkle on top because — god forbid — your boss gets to the office without a pseudo-healthy caffeinated milkshake waiting. Let's face it, you will never understand why she even bothers with the soy milk thing.

Or maybe you just spent the last five days listening to Amanda (the girl with whom you share a cubicle) complain about how exhausted she is now that she's moved in with her boyfriend, or how little sleep she gets now that they're in the same bed every night. Meanwhile, the most tiring thing in your life right now is that your cat, Percy, started pooping on your couch again. Not to mention, the Chinese place on the corner closed down, forcing you to walk two extra blocks for pork dumplings your mom keeps telling you will give you cancer.

Regardless of your reason, when Friday night rolls around, every girl's weekday complaint is left behind and thrown out the window. When the clock strikes happy hour, your mind begins reeling with ideas for the weekend ahead. Should you grab dinner with Stacy and Lisa, and then try that new club that just opened on 5th? Or should you stay in your sweatpants with a bottle of white wine and season two of "Mad Men?"

To go out, or to stay in? That is the eternal question.

So, here is the list of pros and cons that every 20-something girl makes on a Friday night when deciding whether or not to strap on stilettos, or slip on her old high school sweatshirt:

Pro: You had a rough week; a few tequila shots and a night of wild dancing could be just what you need to blow off some steam.

Con: Although, you did go a little too hard last week with Bridget. Maybe tonight calls for some kale juice and a facial instead.

Pro: You could wear the new dress that makes your collarbone look fantastic. After all, you did just spend about half of your last paycheck on it.

Con: Woah. You just spent half of your last paycheck on a new dress … Maybe not spending money on anything ever again will make it possible to pay rent next month.

Pro: However, there is no food in your fridge, which means you'll end up ordering take out alone anyway ... Yes. Dinner with friends is a much better choice.

Con: Your friends chose that damn tapas place again. You know you'll still be starving, even after dropping $45 on two mouse-sized portions and a vodka cranberry.

Pro: But, what if they end up having a really good time? Tonight could be the night of all nights. It could be the night Rihanna happens to be at the same club as you, and wants you to do shots with her! Who are you to pass up Rihanna?!

Con: On the other hand, what if it's an awful night, and Lisa ends up puking on your shoes again?

Pro: You would really like to meet a nice guy. And after all, you did just clean your apartment yesterday.

Con: Nice guys don't exist. And besides, that would require shaving your legs.

Pro: Oh, Morgan's coming out now too?! You haven't seen her in ages!!

Con: Oh, wait. Morgan's coming now too … the last time she came along, you both ended up hitting on the same guy who ultimately went home with her, while you went home to Percy who had scratched up your new curtains, and pooped on the floor.

Pro: On Tuesday you caught yourself having one-way conversations with Percy, and imagining who he thinks is going to win the Bachelor ... Maybe a night with humans wouldn't be the worst thing for your sanity.

Con: But what if Percy misses you? Or worse, sh*ts on the couch again?

Pro: Ugh. You'd kill for a vodka cranberry right now.

Con: But you do still have a bottle of Pino Grigio in the ... Oh, f*ck it. YOU'RE GOING OUT!

You finally text your friends the CTA, “Lisa, Morgan, Stacy, I can be ready in 30. But I swear to god, Lisa, stay away from my shoes."