No, actually, I don't want your advice or your pity.
It seems like every time I get in a fight with a friend, do poorly on a test or just have a bad day in general, I like to vent.
I think venting is the key to letting off some steam and allowing people pretend like they actually give a shit about what you're saying.
But the thing is, after I vent, you can LEAVE.
Just let me finish, and then, say no more. Nothing. Nada. Don't even show a slight, little smirk on your face because, quite frankly, I don't want to hear it. Why? Well, I'm kind of a stubborn bitch.
Here are all the problems you have when you're as stubborn as I am:
1. You could give me the same advice over and over again, but I won't take it.
In fact, I'll probably daydream the entire time your mouth is moving. I really just don't want to hear about anything you're saying. You could probably give the best advice in the world, but I won't take it.
Really, it's not worth it, so please stop trying.
2. I will never listen to anyone but myself.
When I get into trying situations, I really can only listen to myself. Being able to vent is a way for me to get my emotions out and listen to the words coming out of my own mouth.
The weird thing is, I could vent to an empty room, but it just really wouldn't be the same. I need someone facing me and showing they're listening and deep in the conversation.
And though it may seem selfish, sometimes, when you're heated about a topic, you can't help but be a little selfish. Personally, I think that's OK. It's part of who you are.
3. I will never think I need advice.
Yes, I know people go to therapy frequently, and the idea is to spill out your emotions and feelings, in hopes of having an outsider give you a different opinion on your problems.
I'm not saying I don't believe in therapy. (I have two parents who are the best psychologists in the game.) It's just that I've become strong and reliant on my own opinions.
Maybe it's part of me being the independent person I am, but I really will never think I need advice. In my world, I'm doing what I need to do, and sometimes, it's OK to believe that.
4. Your advice will never be good enough to me.
You could give me the best advice in the entire world, but it won't be good enough for me to take it.
I will continuously overthink everything because that's what I do, even when you're probably just saying what you think I need to hear.
5. Your advice will never be what I want to hear.
When I vent, I often get pretty emotional because I don't do it a lot. Therefore, I will never really want to hear what you have to say.
Being that I am so stubborn, I often hold my thoughts in unless I really feel it's necessary to talk about them out loud. But when I do, I usually want to get them out, without having to hear anything back.
6. I don't want to hear that everything will be OK.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling pretty low, I need to force myself to accept the facts and the truth, and I can do that.
But that's why I don't need others telling me what I “want to hear.” Technically, I don't need to hear it.
I don't believe you can magically make a negative situation a positive one. If something has gone to shit for me, I know it, and I have to wait for it to pass.
7. I don't want anyone to change the topic while I'm venting.
If I am able to open up about a topic to you, that's kind of a big deal.
I don't share my feelings or emotions with many people, so let me talk about it now, not later, and rest assured in the fact that I trusted you to vent about it to in the first place.
And even if what I'm saying may be painful, annoying or frustrating to hear, I just need you to pretend to listen to me.
8. When I speak, I don't want feedback before, during or after.
I simply want a warm body to be in the room with me and JUST LISTEN.
There is no need for any conversation, literally. Sit still, look pretty and hear me out.
9. I don't want to hear what I already know.
I'm not stupid. I know the facts to my own story. I just want you to be on my side.
10. Let me be stubborn. Last time I checked, it's not a crime.
I'm stubborn, but I have a huge heart.
And just because I hate hearing other people's advice, doesn't mean I don't like to give my own advice to others.
That's the magic of being a stubborn bitch: You can tell others how it is, but they can't tell you.