I smoke marijuana. That's right, I said it.
It's legal in my state, and I smoke. I think this is something I need to reveal because why not? Let's get to know each other.
Anyway, marijuana isn't what the anti-drug commercials want you to believe, good people. The benefits of marijuana are so astounding that I don't even want to get into it because this article would be too long to hold your attention.
However, I will give you some reasons why it makes me a better person, which ultimately makes me a better parent and spouse.
1. It improves my patience.
My daughter is a handful at times. She can be bossy and mildly aggressive when she wants to be, which is a bit too often for me. Sometimes, her personality can push me two minutes away from taking her for a ride down by the lake.
During those times, marijuana calms my anger sharks. When my anger sharks are calm, I am able to focus on the fact that my daughter is 2 years old and spends all day with me.
Therefore, if she's being a jerk, it's because I'm a jerk. Talk about self-reflection. Just like that, marijuana and my 2-year-old helped me discover something I can improve about myself.
2. It makes me active.
Contrary to belief, not all marijuana causes you to melt into the couch. Indica strains tend to be "sedating and relaxing with full-body effects," while sativa strains have "racier cerebral effects that leave us feeling energized and uplifted."
I smoke sativa, and it makes me very active. I want to get on my feet and do something, like clean to some good music.
Sometimes, it makes me want to exercise my mind by writing, reading, beading, etc. Other times, it helps motivate me to do things like write out bills or grocery shop on days when I'm not feeling up to it. Bottom line? Marijuana cures me of laziness.
3. It makes me friendlier.
I used to be social. Actually, I used to be very social.
My husband and I were both in the Army when we met, and that is not a place where the shy survive. After we had our daughter, we moved back to his home state for a couple of months before moving to Washington.
When we got here, we instantly became introverts. I developed what seems to be a little social anxiety (at least that's what Google diagnosed me with).
Anyway, when I smoke, I am a social butterfly. My social alter ego takes over, and I am able to put myself out there.
4. It turns me on.
On the weekend, once the little one is tucked into bed, my hubby and I smoke. We sit around conversing, laughing and eating. It is awesome, and awesomeness leads to sex, which happens very often, thanks to marijuana.
5. It makes me a better cook.
Nothing makes me want to watch "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown" and "BBQ Pitmasters" more than marijuana. What's equally fitting is that nothing makes me want to cook more than "Anthony Bourdain" and "BBQ Pitmaster." Me + marijuana + "Anthony Bourdain" and "BBQ Pit Master" + Pinterest = Chef BoyarME.
For those who have fallen victim to the "Reefer Madness" propaganda, this confession may be alarming. Let me assure you that marijuana does not turn me into an enraged murderer or rapist.
It also doesn't render me incompetent or unable to carry out my daily duties the way that stoner comedies or anti-drug commercials portray. I get up bright and early every morning, and I live my life like anyone else.
I also buy my marijuana from shops that are professionally run by (Gasp!) marijuana smokers. So, if you don't smoke, that's perfectly fine. I'm just letting you know Mary Jane is a friend of mine.