The 5 People You Lose After Graduation (And Their Real World Replacements)
Graduation involves a weird transition period in which you’re somewhere between done with school and starting over.
In that timeframe, there are many peers who will fall out of your life, which, when you look back on it now, feels more right than wrong.
Whether it be due to circumstance, geography or sheer embarrassment, there are some people who you will rarely (if at all) see once you leave college.
Don’t be upset though, this void is usually filled by an adult version better suited to your new lifestyle. We’ve gladly provided you with their information.
Here’s to always having great stories to share about these five people you lose after graduation. And here’s to finding their replacements.
1. The person you have every class with
As you continue in your major, you realize that you overlap many classes with the same subset of students. If you haven’t already made one of them your bestie, do it now because you’ll need their insight into the exam later.
This is the peer whom you sit with in the library and see almost every day, yet fail to actually hang out with in a social setting.
Hence why you will never see or speak or even cyberstalk this person after graduation. Don’t worry, this role will easily be filled by your new coworker.
2. The person who is your steady f*ck buddy
The world works in mysterious ways and for some reason the times when you need a steady sex partner (The Real World) do not align with when they are robustly available (College).
You will not only lose the actual person who is your routine booty-call, but chances are you will also lose a reliable hookup altogether.
You may try to make the eff buddy into a boyfriend or even turn him into a real-world eff buddy, but alas they just don’t seem to translate outside of the college campus.
Once you graduate, your booty-call assumes grown-up responsibilities and becomes about as dependable as floor seats to a Beyoncé concert. We’d like to say there is a better replacement and there is: the Seamless deliveryman.
3. The bartender who always favored you
Those free, under-the-table shots are about to come to a brutal halt once you start frequenting places other than college bars.
The only way you’re becoming besties with the bartender is if you’re dating him or you’ve already been friends for a while -- there are no shortcuts in life, remember?
Instead save that energy for wooing the bouncer at your bar of choice. He’ll be a way more valuable investment when it comes to landing a drink than the person who is making it.
4. The alumnus you hooked up with on big weekends
The questionably creepy older guy you hook up with on big weekends will no longer fit into your post-grad lifestyle -- it only worked in college when he needed a place to stay.
Somehow it just doesn’t work out when you meet him off campus. Maybe the school spirit bringing you two together just isn’t there or maybe his post-graduate allure has finally faded.
Either way, there won’t be a place in your life for the guy whose claim to fame is funneling thirty beers the fastest. He’ll be replaced by the 28-year-old lawyer desperate for young tail.
5. The person you were only nice to for liquor... and then drugs
When you started out as a young, cunning Freshman, you quickly found that one hapless Senior who gladly bought you liquor in exchange for sweet glances.
Then you grew up, scored a solid fake ID and realized you could buy much more illicit substances cheaply if you applied these same methods. Congratulations, college taught you something.
There’s more than just your plastic drawers staying back in your college town -- so is your nice, couch potato drug dealer.
We know, we know, but you can’t take him with you. Look forward to finding the one non-sketchy dude who deals passable bud coming close to your city soon!
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