10 Cringe-Worthy Things That Will Happen At Your Office Holiday Party
The year is coming to an end, it's time to celebrate and the annual work holiday party is going to commence.
There's free booze, free food, music playing all night long and the perfect opportunity to talk to your office crush.
You've been waiting for this since September, and you're ready to get down with your bad self.
Well, you're not the only one.
Come Monday, there will be so much water cooler talk that the company is going to need to order more water coolers.
What's all the gossip, you ask?
Let's review the holiday party, shall we?
1. Someone showed up wasted.
Yeah, that's right.
Someone pulled a trick out of his old freshman year of college frat book and took five shots of vodka before ever walking in the door.
By the time the appetizers made their way out, that dude was being carried out the door.
Real smooth, man.
2. Someone confessed his or her love.
That blissful, one-sided office romance finally had its day!
Ah, the things whiskey will make you say aloud.
Of course, it was kind of hard to make out the confession considering it was screamed into the microphone while the DJ was blasting "Sweet Caroline."
We know you love your coworker, and on Monday, you'll find out we all know you love coworker, too.
3. Someone stole the food.
Oh yes, someone is going to open up his or her bag and stuff a sh*t ton of food from the dessert table in there to eat at the bar after the party ends.
It's a time to give.
So, don't be surprised if you get pelted in the head with a chocolate chip cookie at the after party by the drunk person.
Your coworker will be standing on the bar and screaming in his or her finest Oprah voice, "YOU GET A COOKIE! YOU GET A COOKIE! EVERYBODY GETS COOKIES!"
4. The boss got wasted.
It never fails.
As much as he or she tried to set a good example, one of your bosses went from zero to wasted real fast.
Sure, your boss preached to you all in the morning meeting how this kind of behavior "will not be tolerated," but did you think that included him or her?
Hey, if opportunity presents itself, ask for a raise.
Get it in writing, and you'll be paying off those student loans in no time.
5. "Those two" finally hooked up.
We all knew it was going to happen.
They have more tension than McDreamy and Grey.
Everyone stopped, and everyone stared.
There was even a play-by-play: "Here we go! He's going in for the kiss. Quick, someone get me more wine! Yes! He's grabbing her ass!"
There they went, right out the front door, tongues still in each other's mouths.
6. Someone fell off the bar.
Alcohol, you do us dirty. Vodka, you need to stop telling us to trust you.
We can't dance, especially on top of tables and in bars in front of the CEO.
Someone just whipped and nae-naed himself right into unemployment.
7. Some couple got into a fight.
I mean, would it really be a holiday party if the office couple didn't have a blowout over the penne vodka?
Who knows what they're actually fighting about; they probably don't even know themselves.
She cried, he screamed, she stormed out and they broke up.
Don't worry; by Monday, it'll be like this night never happened.
8. Rumors started.
You didn't even attend the holiday party, and somehow, you slept with three people, fell off a chair, went streaking and made out with your boss.
The secretaries are sleeping with each other, the sales guy wears a toupée and someone from accounting got pregnant.
9. Someone got fired or became so embarrassed he or she quit.
He probably shouldn't have hit on the manager's wife and then told him off.
But hey, you win some, and you lose some.
In this case, he lost his job.
If by some miracle that guy wasn't fired, he's too mortified to ever show his face in the office again.
There's now an opening in marketing!
10. They cancelled next year's holiday party.
By the end of the night someone — once again — made the announcement the company was never going to do this again.
Yet every year, we find ourselves right back here, doing the walk of shame the following Monday.
It's kind of great, isn't it?