"If one door closes, another will open," they say. This short but simple sentence is supposed to make us believe that with every end, there’s a new beginning.
We've all heard this phrase, usually just after we've been dumped or lost a job. In these moments, it might be hard to accept that without an end, there can be no beginning.
Having recently left my relationship, my job and the country I lived in, I understand the process of shutting the door on things that are important to me in order to open the door for bigger and better things.
During that process, I had to realize this wise saying isn't just a collection of empty words; it's the complete truth.
Many people have tried to open new doors before the old ones have been closed, and here are a few simple reasons as to why that approach cannot and will not work:
1. Finalizing one relationship before embarking on the next is crucial to success.
Of course, the looming loneliness after a breakup is not very appealing. However, having two doors open at the same time, or leaving one half open while looking for the next open one, is toxic to every relationship.
The saying says, “If one door closes, another will open,” not “Before you close one door, make sure there’s another one wide open for you, so you don’t have to think about the door that’s closing.”
During a breakup, you need to shut the door on one person. This way, your own door will be able to be opened by someone else.
Too many people need a new partner to get over the last one, and while that can work, you can do much better than that.
How about reentering the dating scene as a person free from regret and remorse? How about looking for someone who is not like your ex? How about finding someone who is willing to get to know you and not your grieving, heartbroken self?
If the door to your ex-relationship is not properly closed, a new door will not open. Once this is achieved, there will be a plethora of new doors to open for everyone.
2. A new opportunity will always arise for those looking for it.
If you're unhappy with the path you’re on, you need to be willing to embark on a new one.
In an uncertain job market, however, most of us would be scared to close the door on a safe but boring job in hopes for a more fulfilling one.
But, I believe there is always a door for someone who is looking for a new direction.
Closing the door on a job, a path or a life that is convenient is hard. But without closing it, you may never expect to find a better one.
In order to find the door to the path you want to take, you cannot stick to the path you’re traveling on.
The willingness to change and to break free from your “comfort zone” does not allow for two doors to be open at the same time.
We have to close the door on convenience to open the door to opportunity. Now, we don’t have to quit all of our dead-end jobs before we get new ones. But, we have to make sure we are ready to shut the door on “the easy way,” or the door to “fulfillment” will not open.
3. It is impossible to live two lives at once.
When it comes to living situations, it's quite impossible to have multiple doors open at the same time.
How can you live in a penthouse in Malibu and a mansion in Dubai at the same time? Usually, the choices aren’t this awesome, but in order to find a place that makes you happy, you have to close a lot of doors and open many new ones.
I left my home country when I was 16 to move abroad. Whoever thinks the “living at home” door was the only one I had to close is mistaken.
When starting a new life somewhere, the places aren't the only things left behind. The people, the customs and the good old standard of living also change.
One doesn't simply move to a new country and change nothing about his or her lifestyle.
We cannot live the same lives in different places, so we have to close the doors on our old existences to embrace the new ones.
As a German living in the Middle East, I no longer eat pork, wear spaghetti-strap tops and talk to people in my native tongue about atheism. That door closed when I left.
In order to fully appreciate the new doors opening once we leave our comfort zones, the doors on our comfortable lives back home need to be closed.
I still like my old friends; I still enjoy my Bratwurst, and I still want to listen to my favorite music. But, I closed the door on my old life, and I gave the new one a chance.
You can only open new doors if all of these old doors are properly closed without regret. Once they open, you'll be surprised by how much you love your new life.