Why You Are Your Best Source For Advice
We’ve all seen that person at least once — if not in person, then in a movie. You know, that person who sits there mumbling, talking while there is no one else in earshot. People that talk to themselves often at times suffer from some sort of mental illness or delusion. Maybe this is the reason why most of us feel that we shouldn’t bother to take the time to do the same -- to talk to ourselves. We wouldn’t want others to think we are crazy. More so, we wouldn’t want ourselves to deem ourselves crazy.
So we don’t bother conversing with the one person in the world that is always worth conversing with: ourselves. Talking to yourself may make you seem crazy, but there are ways of having such a conversation without coming off as a complete lunatic. I find writing to be the most effective method of having a self-conversation. Getting your thoughts, ideas and dialogue down on paper allows you to have a focused conversation with yourself without necessarily looking like a nutcase. You could, of course, just talk to yourself — but I would recommend going somewhere no one can see you or hear you.
Why bother with all this? Conversations tend to follow a logical flow of continuation. When talking to a friend or stranger, you may start off with small talk, but will undoubtedly connect some word, statement or phrase with a thought and turn that thought into the new topic of the conversation. From that point on, your conversation will flow somewhat seamlessly (depending on how comfortable you are with the person that you are conversing with) with one topic flowing into the other.
Conversations mirror the way our minds work; they are the verbal manifestations of our thoughts and therefore our thought process — the way we think. Assuming that both parties are sane then a conversation should have logical transitions between topics much like our thoughts have some sort of logical flow, one thought triggering another thought.
By taking the time to converse with ourselves, we are exploring our own mind, our own consciousness. We are not only coming to better understand the way that our minds work, but also bringing important issues, that we may have thrown somewhere into the background, back to the forefront. Out of all of the animals on planet earth we have, by far, the most complex language.
It seems fair to believe that because it is so developed, has played such an important role in the development of our brains and plays such an important role in our lives, that the key to unlocking our personal mysteries are words themselves. Nevertheless, most of us don’t take the time to bother conversing with ourselves, the time to explore our own minds. We are so busy exploring the world outside that we don’t bother to explore the world inside.
Maybe it’s because of fear? It isn’t hard to believe that once we do some digging into our psyche that what we dig up may be unpleasant. Nonetheless, it is as close to the truth as we can come and for this reason alone is worth the unpleasantness. I am sure that I am not the only person that has found himself lost at one point or another in life.
Being lost is a part of growing up, of maturing. When we are younger we may feel that we have found our calling or purpose in life only to later come across a rude awakening. Sometimes we will find ourselves miserable and not capable of putting the reason why into words. We simply know that we are unhappy, sulk in the unhappiness and leave it at that.
We will often blame outside forces — people and events — while in reality we are the ones to blame. Sure, we may not be the source of the problem, but by not taking the time to bring to surface the issues that are really bothering us, we are failing ourselves and are, in a way, the ones to blame for our unhappiness.
There is a lot more going on in our heads than we realize. If we would take the time to get to know ourselves a bit better, then we would come to know what exactly is going on in there while we aren’t paying attention to it. When we try to get to know another person, we talk to them. However, though most of us say that we want to get to know ourselves better or “find” ourselves and our purpose, we don’t take the time to talk to ourselves. Sit down with pen and hang and write out a conversation.
Just start a dialogue and see where it goes; see what you feel like talking about in that moment. Whatever is bothering you most or is weighing down on your mind is sure to make its way to the paper. And then that’s when the fun begins. You get to pick apart the issue and figure out a solution. You can brainstorm and go back and forth between the best and worst ways of going about it. You can reason with yourself and give yourself advice just like you would give yourself advice.
The longer the conversation goes on, the more you will distance yourself from yourself (I know it sounds complicated). You will form two yous. You will have the you with the problems and the you that is giving you good advice. Do this often enough, for long enough and you will become your own best friend. This is basically like keeping a journal, but instead of writing down your thoughts, you are writing them down and picking them apart. Talk to yourself and give yourself advice. You are wiser than you know.
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