Take a look at yourself. Think about how many times you look in the mirror. We can admit we’ve all stared back at the reflection bouncing off the window filled office building. We’re even guilty of photographing ourselves with the built-in camera from our smart phones, which we now refer to as a “selfie.”
The less obvious reflection we almost always look past is the reflection in those whom we attract. We interact with people everyday, the idle chit-chat we have with the stranger waiting in line at Starbucks, the water-cooler talk with co-workers at the office or the intimate conversation with a close friend. Take a look at that reflection, that mirror is the most revealing. We hate seeing ourselves in others, especially the reflection of ourselves we don’t like yet, we quietly compare ourselves to others on a daily basis. When we point out the flaws of others, are we actually pointing out our own?
Like attracts like, it is the law of attraction. Who you are, not who you think you are, is who you’ll attract. We become most like the ones we surround ourselves with most. We are narcissistic by nature. The inability to see the mirror image of ourselves through others stems from our attempt for perfection. Perfection may very well be the fall of man, because through perfection, we only see in ourselves what we want and nothing else.
The flaws of our own reflected through the actions of those we meet bother us because we’re accustomed to think we’re better than those we choose to judge. The lies we continue to create only fool ourselves. No longer do we strive for perfection, we begin to believe we’ve achieved it. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is the perfect life.
Kelly Oxford, author of, "Everything is Perfect When You Are a Liar," said, “We are all awful creatures but we are very good at disguising it.” We are convinced that the lies we tell ourselves are an upkeep of our perfection. Perfection may exist in test scores or quizzes. However, if perfection existed beyond what is on paper, we would never evolve as people.
It is easier to conform to the lies we create than to accept the truth. Rarely will we meet someone straightforward and honest. While the truth gets sugar-coated, what we say becomes what they want to hear. We’ve chosen not to accept ourselves for face value, making it difficult for us to deal with a direct reflection of ourselves. At the workplace, the commonality between co-workers and employees has less to do with experience.
While there is always an exception, we can admit the effort is less than mediocre in their work. We will almost always see the same type of employees employed by the same employers. Physiognomy and appearance rules out the words on your resume and the years of work experience, the person you truly are is reflected in those two alone. If hiring was based solely on experience, many of those unemployed would be employed and many of those employed would find themselves unemployed.
We will come across people from all walks of life. Some we may form an instant connection with while there may be lack of any with others. As we look back on who have been in and out of our lives, we’ve learned growing apart is inevitable. As we continue to grow into better versions of ourselves, the reflection of that person is now seen through the new person we attract. Understand yourself and you will learn to understand everyone else.
Rather than questioning the choices and actions of others, understand why. Most people cannot handle themselves, they falter under pressure, succumb to the wants of others and are emotional beyond reason. No conversation goes without complaints, blames and excuses about silly or unimportant issues that only they find a great annoyance in. There isn’t a valid reason why except it's validation of how great they are at something, contradiction. Their actions are not a direct reflection of what they say, but of what is said about others. The key to understanding why lies within you, because no one knows you better than yourself.
Marie Dario | Elite.