When things go wrong and don't turn out how you expected them to, are you asking yourself the right questions in response or are you simply making matters worse? Your brain is a super-computer.
Your perspective, attitude, and initial reactions are actually similar to you typing commands into a computer.
If you ask yourself, "Why does my life suck?" it is no different than you typing that same question into Google. Your brain, acting like a search engine, gives you the results, in the form of answers as to why.
So what you "type" into your head by asking certain questions determines the search results, which greatly affects your emotions towards the subject at hand.
When it comes to unwanted situations or outcomes, there are two different types of questions you can ask. I call them regressive or progressive questions.
A regressive question is a question that does not help any situation and only makes the problem-solving process harder than it already is. For example, " Why did this happen to me?" is a question that only answers what has happened in the recent past and does nothing in terms of helping you overcome a negative situation in the now.
The mind will say "Well, this happened to you because ABC and XYZ," which you of course already knew. It then forces you to remind yourself of failure and evokes emotions that throw you into a negative loop of feelings and thoughts. Regressive questions keep you stuck in the past and feeling sorry for yourself as a result.
A progressive question is a question that helps one move forward in any negative situation. For example, " What can I do to make things work better?" is a question that allows you to have options and find solutions to overcoming an unwanted outcome.
It evokes creative thoughts and allows you to envision yourself conquering the situation, thus creating a loop of positive emotions that drives a problem-solving attitude which helps you move forward and overcome the obstacles you are faced with. Progressive questions are the key to victory.
Now, going back to the past isn't always a bad thing. When you reflect on your past mistakes or unwanted life situations from a learning standpoint, you actually acquire knowledge that will help you avoid or conquer similar situations should they arise in the future.
I call this act reflective questioning, which is a positive way to travel back into the past and extract what you need in order to arm yourself for your future endeavors.
This is also a great way to let go of the past as well. It allows you to make peace with things, because when you ask the right questions, you can take what you need from that experience and then put it to rest.
So, what are some progressive questions? I will give you a few examples.
- When you can't afford something - "How can I get more money to pay for this?"
- When things go wrong - "What actions can I take to overcome this situation?"
- When you need more time - "When can I make time for this?"
- When you are having trouble finding the answers - "Where can I find the answers to this?"
I can keep going on, but I think you get the gist of this. Start asking yourself progressive questions and you will see how much quicker you can recover from any negative situation and overcome the challenges life throws at you each day.
Angelo John Gage | Elite.