Me, Myself And... Holy Crap, I'm Still Single

by Meg Lake

Being single is not easy. It’s not difficult, either.

We live in a world where people put their lives on display. Pictures of engagements, babies and marriages are plastered all over the Internet for everyone to see.

With that happening, it’s easy to compare yourself to others, thinking that because you’re single, you have achieved less in life, are missing out or are totally alone.

The way I see it, you have two choices.

You can be in a rut, a funk or a cloud that prevents you from socially exploring the city in which you live, branching out, making new friends and ultimately, confining you to your couch on a Friday night, hanging out with your new best friends, Cabernet and Netflix. That’s totally cool. I love me a goblet of wine and television binge from time to time.

However, you could instead be the person who looks at the positives and realizes this particular time in our lives is open for interpretation. People at your office might be younger and have higher positions than you in your company and the same goes for relationships, but we all find happiness at different ages and stages.

You should stop comparing yourself to other people right now.

Our generation has been brought up to broadcast our triumphs and mishaps. You might be the only single person in your group of friends. When you see people in serious relationships, married or having kids, it might be instinctual to feel like you are behind the curve of life. Yet, that is simply not the case.

As a culture, we need to disassociate the term “single” from its negative connotations; it is not a disease, a curse or a deplorable state of being that we are forced to constantly fight because we think a human counterpart is the only way to reach complete happiness.

Stop praising other peoples’ accomplishments if they lead you to minimize your own.

Your friends may be engaged, married or popping out kids faster than the pimples on a teenager’s face, but you moved out of your childhood home, got your first job and cooked a meal that didn't kill anyone.

Everyone has small and large victories, and those victories don't necessarily come in that order. Ultimately, people are wired differently and getting married isn't the greatest thing you will ever achieve as a human being. If we all did the same things at the same pace, life would be boring, mundane and predictable.

The greatest truth to life is that we cannot see the future; we don’t know where we’ll end up no matter how hard we try. Stop trying to orchestrate something over which you have no control.

Stop convincing yourself that you're missing out and realize what you can achieve. You don't have answer to anyone but yourself.

Being single is an advantage and an opportunity. Spare your face the wrinkles and stop worrying about not having a significant other. When you’re single, you can do whatever the hell you want!

Sure, that weird girl from your high school, who used to eat banana peels in science class, got engaged in a hot air balloon and posted some cool pictures. That’s awesome. But, with all the extra time you won’t be devoting to the stress that is wedding planning, you can focus on your work and go for that promotion you’ve been wanting.

Take some of the extra cash you’ve saved up and go on a mission trip to help other people. Find a hobby you love and a passion that keeps you sane during the workday. Figure out what you can do for you to make your life worth living.

Stop thinking it has to do with your appearance, your personality or your availability.

It really shouldn't surprise you that the guy from that dating app didn't call you back after you met up at a bar and had a magical night together. Those apps are purely based on physical attraction and are flooded with overly hormonal people who will say and do whatever they can to hook up with you.

If you want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, there are websites out there that are reputable and include people who really are looking for love.

Don’t blame Tinder for your non-existent relationship. Don’t blame the fact that you have a busy work schedule or that you don’t think people find you attractive. Just stop searching. Ironically, we often come to find exactly what we're looking for when we're not looking at all.

Make yourself available, presentable and personable and the stars will start to align for you. Even when they don't, move on; stop dwelling. Like I said, you're too young to have stress wrinkles.

Life is what you make it. So, rather than being sad because you don't have a special someone, go out and do something for yourself, something that makes you happy to lead the life you're living.

Photo credit: VK