In this world, there are a few types of people no one wants to be: the person getting played on "Catfish"; a helplessly wasted girl throwing herself at someone who isn't interested; and a bystander getting rained on by an unidentifiable source.
And no one wants to be that annoying friend bitching about missing brunch because she needs to lose 15 pounds to achieve a "perfect" body.
While the first three scenarios are hard to avoid -- thanks to loneliness, tequila and bad luck -- the latter can be completely bypassed.
Don't get me wrong, it's completely understandable to be unhappy with your body.
We're all human, and the "perfect" body is (unfortunately) something we, as women, think about constantly and strive for every single day.
Even if it's not on the forefront of our thoughts, it's usually somewhere toward the back of our minds.
But this desire to lose weight or achieve the perfect body shouldn't take over your life.
A healthy lifestyle is important, but you shouldn't suffer from FOMO because you chose the gym over dinner with friends or annoy everyone with your incessant moaning about your juice cleanse.
There are ways to lose those last few pounds without being completely f*cking miserable or irritating every person who comes into contact with you.
Force yourself to work out in the morning.
If you can somehow manage to do this (I've tried several times and always seem to fail), you're already ahead of the game.
Exercising at the crack of dawn means you'll never have to choose fitness over friends -- and you won't be whining to your coworkers about how you really don't want to go to that barre class after work.
Because trust me, they really do not care.
Avoid anything extreme.
At first glance, the Paleo diet, working out twice daily or taking alcohol out of your life completely all seem to be great ways to lose weight.
But, they're not very realistic.
Within the first two days sans dairy, refined sugar and any processed foods, you're loudly craving brie, and everyone around you knows you're Paleo.
You won't be happy and neither will they.
Track what you're putting in your body.
You constantly scroll through your Instagram feed, so why not download one more app?
While everyone else is figuring out the perfect angle to capture the best shot of the pancakes and waffles, log your skinny latte, eggs and bacon into the breakfast category.
If you physically note the food you've consumed, you'll be less likely to consume excess later on or go over it with your friends.
Find a workout you actually want to do.
This might come as a shocker, but you don't complain about (or avoid) things you enjoy doing.
Consider dropping $100 for ClassPass. With a wide variety of workout classes, you're bound to find something you'll actually look forward to attending. Plus, you have to sign up for classes, and you're fined if you miss them.
So the only time you'll be complaining about the gym is when you see a $20 charge on your credit card.
This one comes from personal experience.
After finding out the bloating and cramps I'd have after every meal were caused by gluten and not my period, I started doing my research.
Not only did I find out Fireball Whisky isn't completely gluten-free, I discovered other little changes I could make in my diet to be healthier.
Instead of store-bought salad dressing, I create my own with lemon juice and oil.
Knowledge is power, people. Just don't try to impart your wisdom on those who didn't ask for it.
Skip the subway and walk.
Losing weight doesn't have to mean becoming a hermit who only eats kale.
Shedding those pounds requires making smart choices.
You could easily take the 6 train downtown or drive to your friend's birthday dinner, but why not put on your sneakers and walk the extra three miles?
That's 200 extra calories burned and literally one step closer to dropping a pound or two.
Take charge of plans.
You've probably had several group messages consisting of "Where should we go?"; "I don't care; you decide."; and "It doesn't matter to me where we eat."
No one ever wants to make the final decision for dinner plans, so if you're trying to get that "goal" body, step up to the plate.
Choose a venue with salad options or a place known for its healthy choices.
You'll stick to your end goal, and your friends won't roll their eyes as you scan the menu for something that won't cancel out your morning spin class.
It's a win-win.