Don't Let Fear Get In The Way: How Commitment Is A Virtue In Life

by Jacklyn Kouefati

While the word “commitment” is generally associated with a romantic relationship, people tend to be afraid of other types of commitment, as well. Let’s examine why all kinds of commitments should be embraced rather than feared.

To start, fear associated with committing to a romantic relationship tends to stem from bad experiences, which might mean anything from a previous relationship to a childhood experience. This fear doesn’t just come out of nowhere.

Everyone fears getting hurt; even the bravest, strongest people in the world still cry about their first heartbreaks. However, life is unpredictable.

Why cower in fear because someone new wants to take you out on a date? Oh, because your ex cheated on you? Fine, but who says that reality means all of your future relationships will end disastrously? It’s not like you attract cheaters. That’s not even possible.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. It’s okay that things didn’t work out, but why punish every subsequent person who tries to get close to you just because you were once hurt? I was hurt before, many, many times.

I was hurt so badly that I truly lost all faith in love and accepted my fate to be alone for the rest of my days.

This was true until I met my current boyfriend, who treats me like a goddess. In the beginning of our relationship, it was really difficult for me to love him. Thankfully, he understood that I was a bit broken from my past and was patient with me.

Every single person alive has a past. This helps us become who we are today. We should acknowledge and learn from our pasts, but they shouldn’t be the reasons why we carry fear in our hearts.

The point is that it is important to push yourself and to take emotional risks. If you don’t give anyone a chance, how can anyone to prove to you that there still are good people in this world?

The absolute worst thing that can happen is that you get hurt. Getting hurt is a big deal, but eventually, you learn to get over it. This is easier said than done, but time really does heal all wounds -- wine helps, too.

Work is also a commitment and the world in which we live requires hard work. In hard work’s absence, it is very difficult to succeed. This type of commitment does not necessarily spark fear, but it most definitely sparks laziness.

Yes, a part-time job may not be your forever career but for the time being, why not make the most of it? Why not show your boss at TJ Maxx that you actually have vast capabilities?

Don’t get lazy and call out “sick” constantly or come to work hungover. Remember, your current boss will be at the top of your reference list when you someday apply to a bigger job.

Getting back to the commitment aspect, we are in our 20s; how are any of us supposed to know what we want to do for the rest of our lives? Since I barely know what I want to eat for lunch, how could I possibly be expected to know what what I want from my career?

It’s definitely scary, but is this a reason to not give something a shot? No. You might hate it and quit one day or worse, get fired, but you’ll never have to wonder “what if?” There’s also the possibility that you might love your job, which would negate any fear you once held.

Almost everything in life necessitates some form of commitment. Moving, getting married, having a baby, traveling, exercising, shopping, reading a book — everything requires you to sign onboard in some capacity.

Even the simple things in life require commitment. But, there’s no reason why we should restrain ourselves from experiencing the beauties that this world offers; doing so could lead us to miss out on love, a new job or the ending to an amazing book.

Never let fear paralyze you. Life is too short to be afraid to give anyone or anything everything you have to offer.

Photo Courtesy: Lisa Moir