“If you feel like you need to do better, then love yourself better” is what I wrote to myself recently when I had a particularly rough moment.
I was in the wake of an argument with my mother, and for some reason, I hit a tipping point and began spiraling into destructively negative thoughts.
I know that I do not hate myself — in fact, I have been working hard at developing a loving and accepting relationship with everything about myself.
But, we all have moments of darkness, even those of us who spend most of our time in the light. For some, the darkness doesn’t take hold so tightly and for others, it never lets them go.
For me, it comes in waves and the only thing I can do is learn to ride the waves better each time because it is always true that there will be downs alongside the ups.
As with most tough moments, I call on loved ones to help pull me free, but I have found that this method is not nearly as powerful as an internal inquisition.
I have learned that you must look within yourself for wisdom and answers; otherwise, you’ll spend your life grasping for the hands of others and it will be exhausting.
It may sound cynical, but the only thing you truly have in this life is yourself and it's actually a beautiful thing. If you learn to find what you need from within, love becomes a joy, rather than a need, as the heaviness of your desperation for validation lightens.
You will begin to recognize that the answer was always to simplify, that you don’t need a shelf full of books or to travel the world or a room full of people to make you feel worthy.
You only need to trust what has always been inside of you: the capacity for unconditional love.
I strongly suggest that if you find yourself in the holds of feeling worthless or hopeless, you write yourself a letter in the loving and gentle way you would advise a fearful or insecure friend.
When you show up for yourself in that way, you'll realize you can always reach in for the pep talk or a warm hug.
I'm sharing what I wrote to myself in my most recent shadow, in hopes that some of it might speak to your souls, as well, and help you next time you need the words:
You have to remember, in these moments especially, to move with love. Remember that you are worthy of abundance. Always, always remember that, even when the clouds are in the way, the sun is still shining and nothing lasts forever.
You are here; life is on your side. You must remember, at all times, that you are a piece of the universe and that the universe wants you to succeed.
You must listen to your soul. You must love yourself the way life loves you. You must let life in. Let your heart hold you; let it guide you; hear what it is saying. Listen to your yearnings, listen for your purpose and always listen with love.
Everything will be okay.
You have peace within you at all times. You are something magical; you just have to find the magic within yourself. You are deserving -- now and forever. Trust in the good and in the safety of the universe.
Trust in the light that shines so brightly inside of you. Work your hardest to share it, to cherish it and to trust it. You are always beautiful; you are always worthy and you don’t need to be reminded to remember.
Love yourself better. See the gifts that surround you. You can surrender and trust that everything will be right. You are waking up to the rest of your life. Open your heart and it will be okay.
Remember that love is always free.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It