Are you the type of person who lets other people take control? Do you let people walk all over you? If you do, you need to stop. You need to be an asshole. A lot of people feel that being assertive or rude in many situations is a bad thing. I have to disagree.
For a long time I let people walk all over me. Looking back, I regret this, and I don’t regret much. I regret this because I feel as if this may be why I got bullied so much in my youth. I never stood up for myself, I never responded to insults with a more aggressive insult for those who were insulting me. Why did I do this?
I did this because I always felt that being overly assertive was frowned upon, and it is, but now I know better. Now I know the difference between being an asshole 24/7 and being an asshole when it’s necessary. And as it turns out, being an asshole seems to be necessary a lot more often than not.
There’s nothing I hate more than seeing someone get unfairly ignored or disrespected. Sometimes I can’t tell if someone just doesn’t realize that someone else is taking advantage of him or her or if they just don’t know how to defend themselves. More often than not I must assume that it’s the latter.
Is someone underestimating you? Does someone assume that you’re weak? Prove them wrong. You can always tell when someone is being condescending, so shut them up. Let them know who’s in charge, and if you don’t know who’s in charge, always assume that it’s you.
Being assertive is literally essential every single day, whether it's in your relationships, at your work, or even with random encounters. I’m not telling you to stomp around and curse or yell at everyone, but stop letting that person cut you in line at Starbucks, stop cooking and cleaning for your roommates while they lay on the couch and watch TV and stop letting everyone put all of their work on you to finish while they leave the office early.
I’m sure some of you will think that this tactic isn’t the best, especially when it comes to the work environment, but what happens when you’re trying to negotiate a raise or more vacation time? You can’t walk into a conversation with your boss being a shy, quiet little lamb and expect him or her to take you seriously. Let them know that you’re an asset, you work hard, and you deserve this, dammit.
Stop being passive. Force yourself to be assertive when you know you should be. What’s the worst that can happen? Someone tells you that you were being an asshole? A little too rude? Great. Who cares if someone else thought that you were being assertive? I guarantee you’ll get exactly what you want, or at least let people know that they shouldn’t mess with you, and what could be more satisfying than that?
Ally | Elite.