Arrogance is a virtue that can kill your opportunities and networks almost certainly. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I am sure everyone knows someone who shares either of these qualities; perhaps you yourself have been accused of exhibiting this attitude.
Being confident isn’t the problem, the problem arises when confidence isn’t expressed in a proper manner. Unfortunately, many times, confidence is mistaken for being cocky and that turns everyone off to your appearance and voice.
Now, do not get confused with being accomplished and talking about it. I have met people who automatically want to distort someone’s actions simply because that person expressed his or her accomplishments in a professional manner to show his or her credentials in times it's called for.
Those people couldn't be more wrong; cocky arrogance is usually presented in a loud and egocentric way that doesn’t permit dialogue. So, be more careful on how you express yourself and also how you judge someone who is sharing his or her experiences.
Paralanguage is something that can confuse people easily.
Usually, the most accomplished individuals are secure, and therefore, do not go out of their way to show how amazing they are. It's important to keep this in mind because being perceived as cocky can squash your options.
Arrogance will kill your opportunities for many reasons:
1. When you are arrogant, you tend to be more close-minded (thus, less likely to find new techniques and knowledge because you are consumed with yourself).
2. When you are arrogant, you tend to disengage from learning about new people. This keeps you from making connections you might need later in life, and it's all about whom you know nowadays.
3. When you are arrogant, you tend to do more talking and less listening. You were given one mouth and two ears for a reason; listening can help you learn while talking won’t give you any gains.
4. When you are arrogant, you think you are always right. This leads to false assumptions, and you are more likely to make a mistake. A second opinion on something doesn’t make you less able; it shows you know the value of teamwork, and it shows your humility, both which are qualities many people value and search for.
5. No one wants to be around cocky people unless he or she wants something from you. It will suck to one day wake up and realize you are alone and the only social interactions you engage in involve you being used.
6. It shows you do not do well in teams (this can kill other work opportunities).
7. True arrogance can show a lack of worldly knowledge and insecurities.
8. Arrogance can lead to unethical actions. Those who are arrogant think they are infallible, but, as we all know, nobody is infallible.
This means that the day an arrogant person fails, which will happen eventually and that’s okay, he or she will do whatever it takes to cover up that failure. Many times, these individuals will go to extreme measures to ensure their fault is never discovered even if it involves unethical acts.
Remember, confidence is quiet and insecurities are loud. Always be modest and humble; it will get you further in life. It is understandable people like to brag and talk about themselves, but there comes a point where it gets annoying and offensive.
You must think about where you are and whom you are speaking with first; this will help you act and react in a more suitable way. Look at that other person’s point of view and how he or she possibly views you, especially after first meeting.
First time impressions are everlasting, and sometimes, you never get a second chance.
You might think you are more capable or qualified than someone; however, we are all constantly learning and growing and every person has his or her strengths and weaknesses.
How you deal with yourself and others proves more than your statements; actions will always be stronger than words. Modest people tend to be more educated and open, thus share their knowledge with the world and people around them, while having the capacity to accept there is room for growth.
Listening allows you to learn, making your knowledge library that much more impressive. Arrogance limits your capabilities and growth potential, so don’t let it be your downfall. Be better than that.
Photo Courtesy: Paramount Pictures/The Wolf of Wall Street