Get The F*ck Off The Couch: 10 Reasons To Stop Being Lazy And Start Living Out Your Dreams
Exactly two years ago, I walked out of my corporate job. It was a fantastic company; I learned so much and made great friends, but it wasn't taking my career in the direction I wanted it to go.
Over these past two years, I've traveled throughout the country, and I've realized that an overwhelming majority of people our age feel as though their lives are stagnant.
Whether we face student loan debt, we're stuck in an entry-level world, or too depressed and broke to even leave our parents' basements, many of us feel distant from the American Dream.
For our generation, life feels more like the American Nightmare from which we can't seem to wake up. Well, let this be your wake-up call.
After two years of some of the scariest, hardest and ultimately most exciting and rewarding experiences, the company I created will see its first product reach the public next month. Anyone who has made it from nothing will tell you the same thing: No matter what your passion may be, the road from idea to success is all uphill, and the view from the top makes it all worthwhile.
So, from a guy who has been through the wash and come out clean on the other side, here are my top 10 reasons to get off the f*cking couch and start living your dreams:
1. You get to be CEO
That's right; if you start your own company, you legally lay claim to the title of CEO. In all of your future high school and college reunions, you can finally show your ex who really "won" that breakup: the CEO, that's who.
2. Everything is tax deductible
My motto is, "If you can dream it, you can avoid paying taxes on it." As CEO of your own company, your hours just officially became 24/7. Although that might sound like a negative, it means you're always on the clock so Uncle Sam won't be able to take a quarter off from those McChickens we all know you've been eating way too many of these days.
3. Make your own investment capital
Don't have anyone who believes in you? That's okay; MasterCard believes in everyone. Who needs a business plan or ROI when you've got a sea of greedy financial institutions ready to throw thousands of dollars of credit your way in exchange for giving them any random, nine-digit number?
4. Don't be afraid to invest
While most people find bankruptcy to be a dirty word, it's there to forgive us when we make a serious financial faux pas. Sure your credit score will take a hit, but let's be honest: You weren't buying a house soon, anyway. So stash some cash in that mattress and thank Allah we live in the land of the free.
5. It's the adventure of a lifetime
While most new businesses fail several times before they find success, one thing guaranteed is that it will be an adventure. Much like playing paintball, it's like going to war with your friends, only you get to drink during the day.
6. You will become a commodity
Let's face it: That one guy who quit his job to make his dreams come true is awesome. He's also always respected, and if that guy is you, your friends will definitely take note.
Not only will your friends be jealous, they will want to get in on the action. But be wary of who you accept into your business; it can be difficult to brag to them afterwards if you lean on them whatsoever on the way to the top.
7. Be homeless without the accompanying mental disorder
There will be times when you can, and likely will be homeless -- not homeless homeless, FUN homeless! Live in your car or office for weeks at a time, only bathe in gym locker rooms and brush your teeth at a water fountain. There's no place to shave quite like someone else's car mirrors.
8. Work "normal" hours
I hate mornings, so now my workday starts at 10 am. Thanks, boss. You're welcome.
Remember when you had to go to the DMV between 9 to 5, but those were the hours you worked, so life was just broken for a while? Well, now it's fixed, just as long as you don't mind slaving away until 4 am every night. Or you can always just not go the DMV... I mean, it's not like you have a job to drive to anymore.
9. Lose friends you needed to lose; gain those you needed to gain
The bad news is that much like a husband or wife, those with you at the beginning, you will only grow to resent. The good news is that for all those "good acquaintances" you've been trying so hard to keep up with, you need have a bulletproof excuse to not call them again.
10. You can only go up from here
Look around you; if you have a dead-end job, or maybe still live with your parents, it won't be like this forever. Sure, your life may not be going perfectly, but you have nothing to lose. Why not try going for the impossible? If for some crazy reason you spend two years hustling and it is just not working, then Mom's basement will still be there -- unless of course she croaks, in which case you're set regardless.
Now get off the f*cking couch and go change the world.
Photo via Tumblr
