10 Times Your Weed Dealer Was More Helpful Than Your Best Friend
As the saying goes, a dealer is a man's best friend.
No? Is that not right?
Well, it should be.
Anyway, there is a delicate and beautiful balance between a person and his or her dealer.
Financial benefits aside, here are 10 reasons your dealer is probably the most important and influential person in your life:
1. Your dealer is always there for you, no matter what time or day it is.
Maybe it's Christmas Eve. Maybe it's 3 am on a Tuesday. No matter the day or time, your dealer has your back.
He understands family get-togethers, long work days and Saturday morning hikes necessitate his help, and he's happy to do so.
Your best friend might listen to your problems afterwards, but he or she can never enhance your situation the way your dealer can.
2. Your dealer always keeps it real.
Sometimes tough love is hard on a person. Whether you're giving it or receiving it, the process is usually painful.
Your dealer, however, is well-versed in the art of delivering what could be considered “bad news." Whether he's out of weed or just out of good weed, your dealer will always be straight with you.
Your best friend, on the other hand, may enable your situation in order to spare your feelings.
3. Your dealer educates you.
We've all heard the “this sh*t right here” talk from our dealer before.
While you may just think it's all hype (cue the time he swore he got his weed straight from Snoop himself), your dealer will educate you on the ins and outs of what you're smoking.
He wants you to be informed on his product, and he will always do his hardest to make sure you are better as a person for your weed knowledge.
4. Your dealer cares about your money.
Unlike your best friend who is trying to force you into an unaffordable Miami vacation this weekend for no reason other than she's single and wants to mingle, your dealer cares about your green.
He will give you “the hookup” when he can because more green in your pocket means more green you're getting from him.
Trust us when we say your dealer will do anything in his power to make sure you've got money burning in your pocket.
5. Your dealer helps you through tough situations.
Yes, your best friend probably does this too, but if you're lucky, your dealer will stick around for a complimentary joint to talk about your life and to give you an outsider's perspective.
Also, it doesn't hurt that he's providing you weed, which always helps.
6. Your dealer gives really good directions.
Much like an Uber driver, your dealer makes his living cruising the streets. With that being said, he knows his way around.
No matter how lost you are, your dealer will be able to guide you to the closest convenience store or recognizable landmark.
And, unless your best friend happens to be an Uber driver, you're probably out of luck.
7. Your dealer has a great network.
In this day in age, everyone smokes weed. What does this mean for your dealer?
Well, hopefully he's got a great network of people that he caters to. If you have a good relationship with him, you never know how his personal connections will come in handy.
Need a job? We bet he knows a guy. Need your gutters cleaned out? We bet he knows a guy.
Want juicy gossip about a political scandal? Yeah, we bet he knows a guy.
8. Your dealer will be the first person to worry if you go missing.
While your best friend might not think much of you missing family dinner on Wednesdays, your dealer will surely notice if you don't pick up your eighth for the week.
While a call to the authorities may be a little awkward, your dealer will surely check up on your health and well-being as soon as he notices you're not around.
9. Your dealer will give you loans (if you're lucky).
No matter the depth of the relationship you have with your best friend, asking to borrow money is awkward.
If, however, you have a good outstanding relationship with your dealer, he may be willing to lend a hand when needed.
And if he won't give you cash, he will probably at least front you some bud to help you emotionally get through your financial woes.
10. Your dealer will always be in a good mood.
If you're anything like us, you basically have a marriage-style relationship with your best friend. But, we all know that means for better or worse.
So, if you're best friend is sad about a breakup, mad at her boss or spilled coffee all over her new outfit, you'll have to hear about it.
Your dealer, on the other hand, will always be happy. (He's making money, after all).
You never have to worry about hearing them complain about work, relationships or soiled shirts, which makes for a better time for you all around.
The moral of this story is, love your best friend, but be good to your dealer.
He's the most important person in your life right now.