The Laws Of Instagram

by Robert Anthony

A new social network has been on the rise recently--the iconic hipster app Instagram. This app has to be one of the coolest apps that the iPhone has to offer and its rise to fame has been somewhat of an overnight success. Instagram is a fun picture sharing network that features a variety of filters users can make use of to create a variety of effects.

Because this app has attained so much success and has spread so rapidly we have been noticing many misusing this app--not  having the slightest clue how to truly interact with the app.  Since the network is relatively new, many misunderstand how to properly make use of the site and have been crowding our feed with nonsense photos. We have thus been forced to take on the responsibility of laying down the laws for Instagram to alleviate our pain:

No Mirror Pictures

The statement pretty much speaks for itself. Mirror pics stopped being cool back in 2002 when Myspace was still around--times have changed, buddy. Showing off a six pack in a mirror or giving that stupid kissy face surely fails to impress anyone. We are simply uninterested in mirror pics of your current outfit. No one cares that much about what you are wearing and the reflection of the flash off the mirror is simply ghastly.

Promoter Banners

We have just begun seeing this trend go viral. You know those horrible promoter flyers that have been bombarding your Facebook? Well, they have now found their way onto Instagram. If you are a promoter please refrain from sharing your fliers on instagram. It was frustrating enough sifting through you spam on Facebook, and despite what you think, your poor quality internet fliers are not intriguing or alluring in any way. Plus, everyone knows the best parties don't need advertisements to attract quality clientele.


As an Instagram user it is certain that you will be closely following your good friends and, of course, many hot girls. It is a must that you refrain from liking EVERY single picture she posts. We get it, you think she's hot. This certainly doesn't mean that you need to harass her though.

No More Than 3 Pictures A Day 

We have been seeing excessive amounts of posting on this site lately. People feel the need to bombarad instagram with many updates that might be far better served left off the internet. We do not need a visual update of every event that occurred during your pedestrian day. We're sure your photos are great, but please be considerate and decrease the amount of posting you do.

While it's great that your self worth is high and you honestly think people are interested in your updates, excessive posting is extremely annoying. Simple economics: Supply and demand will tell you that the less you give them the more excited they will be to see it.

No pictures of tits, if we wanted to see porn we wouldn't be on instagram that's for sure.

No Meeting Strangers On Instagram

As Instagram's popularity has been increased, we have seen an influx of fake accounts. If you seem to magically meet an amazingly gorgeous girls who seem out of your Elite league, chances are it's a guy or a crazy ex that is stalking you. It is damn near impossible to randomly meet a hot girl on a social network such as this one. If you see a picture similar to the one above on her profile chances are she's not real or a Jersey girl.

Annie Leibovitz Clause

Girls, we know you all aspire to follow in the footsteps of great female photographers like Annie Leibovitz, but please do not allow this picture sharing network which allows you to minorly edit a photo to confuse you into thinking you're a professional photographer. Your photos are being taken with an iPhone, not a DSLR. Please refrain from overestimating your abilities just because you're competent enough to snap a photograph and make use of 1 of the 10 shades available for editing.

Excessive Showing Off

Gaudy flaunting makes you look like a pompous buffoon--plain and simple. In the best case scenario, it's only permissible if what you're presenting is actually your property. However, realize that it's both impolite and inappropriate to share a picture of your car or your lavish apartment every day. We're aware that you're Elite, but please, have some class so that you can embody the social obligations that title entails.

No Words

We have been noticing some uploaded photos that have far too much text in them with rather useless information. We truly don't understand the thought process behind doing this. Please keep those type of frivolous photos for Facebook.