I’m from a very small and sheltered neighborhood. I’ve known the same people my entire life and we’ve pretty much done the same things together from elementary school until now. I’ve never once complained about this set up. I love where I’m from along with everyone in my life.
A few years ago… maybe even as early one year ago, I thought that the people I was always surrounded with would remain a constant source of encouragement, companionship and positive reinforcement like they were since I was young. Unfortunately, I'm starting to realize that this simply is not the case. Three years of college and a little bit of real life experience outside of your own suburban town has the potential to have a very interesting effect on your relationship with who you always thought of as your primary support system.
It’s at this time, Generation-Y, that we should all start concentrating on getting our priorities straight. We’re still young, but we’re also old enough to need to start thinking about our futures and who we want to be in them. My mother always told me that the biggest problem I have is that I give everyone so much without making them earn it in return. This is why it's important to think about which friends are as conducive to your happiness as you are to there's, the friends who make an effort to only add to the joy you get out of life and those who do the opposite.
I will always be the first to take the shirt off my back for a friend of mine and now I’m starting to realize that I should hesitate before acting so unconditionally. These few years of college and the valuable experiences I have had along the way have led me to finally see that some people in your life are not in fact there to help you, support you, and walk alongside you. Some people could not care less about your accomplishments, your success or your happiness. These people suffer from a disease called jealousy, and it’s in this point of my life that I want to cut every single one of those people out.
A jealous friend does not necessarily have to be a friend who is outright and obvious about their jealousy like how it was when we were children. Jealousy in adults is subtle, subliminal and more difficult to pin point. They show their disapproval not with their words but with their actions in response to something they have learned about you that further inflames their jealousy. A jealous or self-centered friend is one who lacks simple friend necessities, someone who lacks basic compassion because they are only concerned with how what happens to you effects them and not you.
Is there someone in your life who does not support you? See if you can relate to this situation: have you ever been promoted, offered your dream job, or were happy in a serious and long-term relationship? Jealous friends are the one's who never do anything to make you feel good about your accomplishments. You’ll tell them your great news and expect them to share your happiness, because that’s what a true friend does, and yet they never bring it up again as if it was a piece of bad news that could ruin a moment of joy amongst friends.
It takes two seconds to ask a friend how their new job is going, how their girlfriend is, or if you’re just doing well in general. People who don’t take the time to ask you how you’re doing or properly congratulate you are those who only care about how someone else's well being compares to their own . They are envious of the life you are living due to the experiences and the speed in which you are becoming a more successful, satisfied person.
These are usually the people who offer you insincere happiness. They overcompensate themselves by forcing a fake smile and putting on a sub-par acting performance of how happy they are for you. These people counteract your positive with a negative. They try to downgrade your news by making it seem like any other conventional happening that doesn't hold any significance.
Before these people do the inevitable and distance themselves out of spite, take the initiative and cut these people out of your life yourself. At this point in our lives we are working hard towards future goals, we’re growing up, we’re moving away from our home towns and comfort zones and we’re starting to realize that not everyone we’ve stayed in contact with since high school ended are going to be in our lives forever.
It’s at this point that we need to surround ourselves with people who are willing to do as much for you as you are willing to do for them. Be strong, and never let another take advantage of you or keep you down. You are Elite, and whoever doesn’t realize that is not worth your time or energy. You can only move up after cutting these people out of your life, and on this path I guarantee you'll understand how much better off you are without anyone attempting to take the meaning and joy out of your accomplishments.
Alexis Taylor | Elite.
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