How To Survive A Friendship Breakup
While it's always hard to break up with an ex, the pain that follows the end of that relationship can usually be fixed by some ice cream, alcohol and the support of your friends.
You can find comfort in the fact that maybe you just weren't meant to be, and that someone better will soon come along.
But what if the person you've broken up with is one of your closest friends?
Apparently, going through a friendship breakup isn't that uncommon.
As women specifically disclose so much to each other, the sting of the friendship breakup can actually hurt so much more. In romantic relationships, it becomes pretty obvious when someone is not happy, but platonic breakups can strike out of nowhere.
That shock, coupled with the sting of losing the one person you go to with EVERYTHING, makes a platonic breakup actually feel so much worse.
But don't worry too much; there are things you can do to move on from your toxic "friend."
1. Give yourself time to reflect.
What went wrong? Did you drift apart, or did you have a huge blowup that caused you both to hurt one another's feelings in unforgivable ways?
Whatever the case may be, you can only move on once you understand what happened.
These lessons will help you process your emotions in a healthy way once the pain of the breakup has passed.
2. Make sure you're prioritizing yourself.
Even though your schedule may be a little off whack without this friend in your life (no more girls' night dinners, for example), make sure your regular routine is still on point.
Go to the gym, get enough sleep and make sure you GTFO and get your ass to happy hour.
All these things play a part in the way you feel, and the more you take care of yourself, the more equipped you'll be to deal with drama in other parts of your life.
3. Say your goodbyes.
If you ended on really bad terms, it might not be possible to say goodbye in person. But it needs to be done in order to get closure.
Liz Pryor, author of "What Did I Do Wrong?: What to Do When You Don't Know Why the Friendship Is Over" suggests writing a letter to the friend you lost. You don't have to send it, but just acknowledge your feelings and be clear about everything.
If you don't know what went wrong, acknowledge that. If you think you messed up, acknowledge that too.
“Friend breakups tend to go unacknowledged, which can contribute to why people suffer so much from them," says Pryor. By writing the letter, you're giving those feelings the confirmation they deserve.
4. Maintain an active social life.
It can be tough to see your friends if you know there's animosity in the crew, but make sure to keep your mutual friends out of it. Instead, stay busy with the ones you love... and don't bring up the issue in order to get them to take sides.
Even though it's hard to go out and socialize, you have to realize that losing one friend doesn't mean you've lost your entire support system.
You still have people who love and care about you, and they will be there for you.
5. Evaluate your current friendships.
It might be painful to think about losing any of your other friends right now, but eventually, you DO need to consider that option.
Maybe you have a toxic friend who keeps dragging you down, or maybe you realize you did something in your earlier friendships that drove the other person away.
It's important to recognize any unhealthy patterns in your friendships, so you can make sure your future relationships aren't affected.
You need to make sure you're surrounded by the squad that lets you be free to be exactly who you are, without judgments. They're the ones who'll pick you back up when life knocks you down.
So, they should be chosen with care.