Being average is boring, and "being you” is cliché. Others say, do “what feels right,” but too often people steer toward comfort, which returns them to this same dilemma in the hunt for excitement. While this may be "you" now, it's not the version of you that you strive to be.
Break this mold of security; comfort is your enemy - avoid it. If it feels safe, run the other way like your life depends on it because that decision will shape the one you’ve dreamed of.
“Comfort zones are plush lined coffins. When you stay in your plush lined coffins, you die.” - Stan Dale
The cheapest, easiest, most readily available method to doing this is communication. Become certain in your words, feel what you say, parallel your words to your actions, and don’t falter. Don’t filter messages to make others feel comfortable. Be honest, and don’t mince words. If others don’t agree, it’s their responsibility to be ok with themselves, not yours.
Believe in what you’re selling: you
“Fake it till you make it” is a common saying, but you have to own it to become it. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and if you’re hesitant in your own skin, others will sense fresh meat. Too many are afraid to raise eyebrows because others have this image of them from the past. Others don’t want to see you grow, because it makes them feel stuck in a redundant, un-enchanting life.
This goes beyond hard work and challenges what others shy away from. When others feel fear, you feel hunger. When they hesitate, you pounce. Take a chance, confront your fears, and don’t be predictable; live. If you don’t want an average life, don’t do average things. When was the last time you felt something beyond what is mundane?
Communicate to recreate you
This hunger, desire and yearning for more can be expressed in communication or silence. If you feel undervalued, disrupt others expectations of how you act and communicate. Vary your tone, verbiage, body language, use of personal space, or actions by outworking the competition.
Leaving this mental safety net of others expectations, and your own, expands your mind and your sense of self in limitless ways. It pushes down mental boundaries with a “f*ck you” and makes you realize limits are imaginative. Nobody sets these feeble standards other than yourself because you’re afraid of a little change. You’re cozied up in your cookie-cutter lifestyle and allow the prospect of failure to shadow that of personal fulfillment and voyage.
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” - Abraham Maslow
Generation-Y’s social stalker
The growth of social media multiples this identity crisis, and Generation-Y feels responsible to upkeep personas and profiles that correspondingly restrict them from growth. These cyber-dunce caps label people and follow them everywhere, eluding to others who they are before ever meeting. Communication can change that.
Assembling the “you” that you desire
“We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.” - Max DePree
Look at three people you admire - real or fake - and emulate their communication with your own personal twist. Be it James Bond, Beyoncé, Tom Brady, or your grandma, take the most highly regarded traits of your chosen individual and implement them into your speech. Speak firmly and with strength, and soon you’ll find that other areas of your day-to-day mimic the people you revere - beyond simply how you talk or act. You have to feel, and act on it from your core. Your gut must lead the way, but your head has to guide.
Explore the edge, and you'll find the best you
Nobody’s going to hold your hand in life. If you don’t change, don’t expect your surroundings to, either. Just because others fear boundaries doesn't mean you should, too. Never fear the unknown because within its shadows lies personal greatness, and you’re already living in the light of today.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” - Neale Donald Walsch
Explore the edge.
Top Photo Courtesy: You Phil