How Your Relationship With Your Mom Changes Over Time

by Alexandra Strickler
Studio Firma

Despite the love you'll always have in your heart for your mom, you know the relationship has had its growing pains.

As a child, you pretty much had no choice other than to be totally dependent on her.

Then, as a teenager, you were angsty AF, and the relationship became a tug-and-pull of needing Mom, but also wanting nothing to do with her. Because, MOM, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME. JUST DROP ME OFF AT THE MOVIES AND LEAVE, GOD.

You and your mom both know the relationship has never been, and will never be, utterly perfect, but the love you have for one another remains strong through all the many ups and downs.

Here's how your relationship with your mom changes as you get older.

When you're a little kid, Mom is basically your whole world.

As a kid, you obviously don't have much of a choice when it comes to your relationship with your mom.

You literally need her for everything, and even if you didn't, you'd still find yourself wrapped around her leg at every social gathering she takes you to, because #separationanxiety.

When you're a child, Mom is just, well, perfect. Her mac and cheese is to die for (never mind that it's literally just a box of Kraft), and there's nothing more comforting than the smell of her perfume.

At this time in your life, you don't know any other way to look at your mom other than as your very own superhero.

Then, you're a teenager, and you kind of hate your mom.

You don't ACTUALLY hate her, but like, a little part of you hates her.

She doesn't get it when you want to dye the tips of your hair purple, or when you insist on having your phone at the dinner table because the boy you're crushing on said he'd "text you later."

You still need her in your life, but you're convinced you don't. You've maybe even considered running away from home a few times, because, you know, that'll show her.

But then, when you're not "hating" her, you're kind of desperate for her. When you and your best friend get into a huge fight, your mom is the only shoulder you want to cry on.

You ultimately realize you need her, and you love her, but you hate admitting it to anyone -- even yourself.

Once you're an adult out of the house, you realize your mom is actually, like, a person.

Whether you moved out to do your own adult thing, or you left home to go away to college, you finally start to see your mom in a totally different light.

Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder, but it makes the brain grow wiser, too.

It's finally dawned on you Mom is a human being, with her own healthy balance of flaws and strengths, just like you.

Guille Faingold

Yeah, it's a little annoying she wants you to text her at least once a day, just so she knows you're not dead.

But, at the same time, you're kind of excited to tell her about everything happening in your life. Now that she's not breathing down your neck about every decision you make, you're itching to tell her about your upcoming job interview or the philosophy class you just aced.

You actually miss her, and you've finally realized it's OK to love her.

Make sure she knows that this Mother's Day.