“What does he see in her that he doesn’t see in me?” “Would my boss appreciate me more if I was more like her?” “Maybe if I lost 20 pounds, he would like me…”
If you are anyone who’s anyone, at some point in your life, you’ve had these thoughts of self-doubt and deprecation. Let’s face it: We’ve all fallen into the trap of comparing ourselves to others.
In times of hesitation, whether it be regarding work, relationships or our own physical appearances, we feel the need to challenge our worth and unique sense of individuality to gain an inaccurate sense of self-evaluation. However, what we don’t realize is the price we’re paying for such a belittling habit.
While focusing on somebody else’s success, we tend to lose track of what makes us stand out. This could eventually result in a lack of motivation, or even worse, “tossing in the towel.”
We must realize that everybody fails and succeeds at different rates and given points in life. Rather than collaborating and working together, this can lead to an unwanted measure of competition and envy.
In order to keep your eye on the prize — whatever jackpot that may be — try taking a step back and looking at the qualities that you have, rather than the ones you don’t.
What do you have that qualified you for this job? Why were you selected to lead the project over your colleagues? If your mindset is to believe that you are enough, chances are, you will gain a new sense of power and fulfillment within yourself.
One of the most distressing feelings in the world is seeing our lost loves find new love before we do. It leaves us with a sour taste in our mouths and an agonizing pain in the depths of our stomachs we never even thought possible. And naturally, the first thought that runs through our heads is, “What does he/she have that I don’t?” Guilty!
Following my shameful illusion of unrighteousness, I received some very blunt advice from a close friend: “Maybe he just wasn’t happy being with you, but that’s not to say somebody else won’t consider you their world one day.”
There it was. The cold, hard truth knocked me upside the head like a bag of bricks. However, hearing this made me realize the harsh reality that not everybody will like you. The many different qualities we possess will, in time, attract the right person.
As humans, we are biologically attached to the idea of love and being loved. However, trying to fit into a mold of somebody’s idea of “perfect” and thoughts like, “Maybe if I was more like this…” is a losing battle.
Even though your previous partner hated your indecisiveness or your stubbornness, your next partner could find it downright adorable! It’s all about practicing the concept self-love and accepting who you are because nobody can fully love you until you completely love yourself.
Before we judge someone else’s “perfect” lifestyle or qualities, we must realize our perceptions of others are most likely skewed. With social media controlling our culture and constantly bombarding our minds with distorted information, it’s so easy to develop a false interpretation of other people.
Of course, we only post or blog about what we want people to see, because who wants to read that you failed your exam or that you rear-ended the car in front of you on your way to work?
Everybody fights his or her own battles every single day, so comparing yourself to another colleague, coworker, or friend will only damage your own self-worth.
By focusing on our own strengths and practicing self-love, we can learn to trust ourselves, and most importantly, respect ourselves. This will eventually lead us all to achieve a lifetime of happiness.
Photo via We Heart It