We’ve all done it — acted in anger or on impulse to feel as though we’re “getting even” or “settling score.” You know, the text message that was intended to go straight through the heart.
Or possibly, that heated phone call that consisted of a whole lot of shouting and not much sense. Perhaps you’re the coy type, the kind that passive aggressively takes matters into your own hands by means of the “delete, unfollow and block” tactic.
Some of us act on anger because we are just too hot-tempered to do anything else or because the thought of not “getting even” is just too unbearable. It’s not good.
Why shouldn't you act on anger.
Here’s an example: You hear about your ex hooking up with a girl who was a thorn in your side throughout the duration of your relationship. She would text him at midnight but they were “just friends.’”
We all know her. If you still have active feelings, news like this can be upsetting. So, in the midst of being upset and quite possibly full of rage, you take it upon yourself to text your ex something nasty and hurtful.
At the time, there is nothing on this planet that sounds like a better idea, but fast forward five days. How are you feeling now?
Probably like a dog with its tail between its legs or a crazy person who cannot control his or her emotions. Your ex has probably had the satisfaction of sharing a laugh and a “dude, she’s crazy” conversation with his friends. Was it worth it?
How about this one: through the grapevine, you heard your best friend might have said or done something that isn't sitting well with you.
Your feelings are hurt. I mean, how could she? What do you do? You call her and drop some hurtful lines for which you will definitely apologize later. You end up with a friendship that could possibly be compromised forever.
These types of situations are not limited to just friendships or the dating scene. It happens with familial relationships and amongst complete strangers.
We leave bruises, which could be easily dodged, on people and relationships. We compromise our dignity in a sentence. We create destruction for nothing.
In the end, you're the one getting hurt.
Anger is an unfortunate vice in life that can take hold of you if you let it. Similar to addiction, anger destroys everything in its path with no mercy. It can dictate your entire attitude toward people and situations, and if you allow it to do so, it can dictate the outcome.
There is absolutely nothing emotionally healthy about acting on anger. When we act on anger, we almost always end up saying or doing something that we will later regret.
Although someone may have initially hurt us, we end up suffering. We backtrack because we feel foolish or shameful.
Words can damage relationships to the point of disrepair. Bridges burn, feelings get hurt and people scar in response to things we say.
Words cannot be rescinded. You can’t wave your finger and make them disappear. Once they’re out there, they are out there.
If we hurt every person who annoys us, where would that leave us? Alone. No one wants to stick around with a ticking time bomb.
People eventually tire of bad behavior. When they look down at their ringing phones, they don’t want to wonder whether you are calling to unload or to chat about the weather.
Breathe it out.
With today’s emphasis on instant gratification, conflicts of anger are even harder to control. It’s simple to pick up the phone and send an ugly text message before thinking twice.
It takes far more self-control to count to 10 or go for a walk. Encourage yourself to initially handle a situation with a little patience and finesse.
Wait an hour, a day or a week to deal with something that has upset you. Confront the issue with your wits about you and in a calm and sensible manner. Disagreements resolve much faster when you are sincere and sane. Relationships are one of aspects of life — work to build them, not break them.
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