If I had to describe the workplace of my nightmares in one word, it would be this: beige.
Beige carpet, walls, chairs, personalities. Ugh. It makes my skin crawl!
Needless to say, when I found myself stuck in a beige cubicle day after day, I realized my "dream job" wasn't all that dreamy. Yep, my nightmare had come true. I mean, you know things are rough when you forget what a window is, right?
Cue misery, and sliding down the rabbit hole of self-help books.
I tried changing my state (thank you, Tony Robbins) by listening to happy, upbeat music… until a manager said headphones were not permitted in the office. Womp. Womp.
Then came the dream boards. I thought this would do the trick (I'm a visual person, after all). But no, the smiling faces of Sara Blakely and Oprah (it's not a real dream board if you don't have Oprah, OK?) just didn't pull their weight when we were separated.
Nope, I needed something to carry with me that would remind me of bigger, better things (something that wasn't chocolate).
So I tried writing a little daily mantra in my notebook to look at throughout the day. Turns out my colleagues could see it, too… the shame. If there's one thing I'd never describe myself as, it's someone who likes to talk about and share their feelings.
I'm getting queasy just thinking about the moment I realized everyone knew I was writing little pick-me-up notes like, “I'm open to receiving success and abundance" to myself. Ew. Goodbye, mantras.
By this point, I was desperate. All these self-help tips weren't, well, helping.
So one Sunday afternoon, I walked into the most hippie store I've ever seen. The Tarot Reading sign out front may or may not have been the deciding factor. Did I mention I was desperate?
It was here, amongst the burning incense and bushels of sage, that I found what would be the solution to feeling a little more human and little less unfulfilled: healing crystals.
OK, OK, I can feel your eyes rolling. I feel my eyes rolling. Am I really going to admit to this? Yes.
It turns out you don't need to be 100 percent sold on crystals sending out energetic vibrations to the universe to attract what you want most in life for them to work. I mean, even if that part is true (who am I so say it's not?!), I'm going to assume their vibes don't just turn off because you're not quite sold on the ~woo-woo~ part. So really, whether you believe in that part or not, it's a win-win.
As someone with a lot of skeptical bones, I can't hide how I feel anymore. I'm coming out.
I'm obsessed with healing crystals, and I don't care who knows it.
Why? They simply remind me of what I'm focusing on in life, and keep my eyes open to the right opportunities as they come up.
It also doesn't hurt that they're small enough for me to hide in my bra, so no one needs know I have a secret weapon under my dress. No more awkward colleagues-reading-my-mantra-like moments for me!
That's right, ladies: You don't need to be draped in gaudy pendants and orbs to keep crystals close. Just clip 'em to your bra.
Here's how they work for me: Ever noticed how when you decide you're in the market for some new shoes, suddenly all you see are shoes, shoes, shoes? It's the same deal.
Pick a crystal that matches what you want more of, and you're training your mind to pay attention to the little opening and opportunities that roll your way.
If I'm carrying some citrine — the money-making crystal machine — I'm reminded throughout the day to be open to money stuff. Suddenly, you notice opportunities everywhere! Why hello, potential new client…
Do you have to give up your identity as a normal, functioning human who likes shoes way too much to be super into crystals? Yes, I'm sorry. You need to go buy tie-dye and patchouli everything, right now. JOKES!
Just because you like watching "The Bachelor" doesn't mean that's your defining quality. And just because you like carrying a few special rocks here and there doesn't mean you're a hippie, woo-woo, crazy person, either.
But it may lead you down a path of being super rich with the love of your life and being a 100 percent happy human. Only if you choose your crystals carefully, of course.