Growing Apart From Your BFF Can Change All Your Relationships For The Better

by Brianna Shaw
Curtis Kim

When you have a best friend, you can't imagine anything ever changing between the two of you. You share everything.

Alright, maybe not everything. But close enough. They're not afraid to tell you their deepest and darkest secrets, and you're not afraid to tell them yours.

Your best friend is most likely the person who makes you cry with laughter, and the person you cry for when bad things happen. It is this type of friend who makes your parents doubt your sexuality.

However, when you grow up, you inevitably change. So does your best friend. Whether you like it or not, sometimes, you just grow apart.

You are now no longer seeing eye-to-eye on pivotal subjects, and your morals don't align. It's as if you're both looking at different compasses to guide you through life.

It's an incredibly weird phenomenon when you and your best friend no longer want to share stories. You slowly stop hanging out as much because you realize you simply don't feel the need to.

You notice you start calling and texting other people when something share-worthy happens. You spend more time with people you hadn't actually paid that much attention to in the past. You see that with them, you're both actually on the same level.

It's uncomfortable and often, it's just plain sad. But you have to remember this happened for a reason. Not everyone is always meant to stay in your life forever. Some people are there only to help you get through certain parts of your life.

That sounds intense, but it's really not. I believe people are in your life because you have something to teach them and they have something to teach you.

Perhaps, one day, you will find your way back to one another. But for now, all that really matters is knowing you will be OK either way.

You don't wish bad things upon one another. You're not "breaking up," either. You're just mature enough to see and admit you no longer have the connection you used to have.

There is a way to see whether you grew apart, or whether your friendship just got off track for a little bit.

If you really miss your friend, maybe you haven't really "grown apart." It's just that somewhere down the line, something went wrong. If that's the case, fix it.

“Accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you cannot accept.”

Pretty straightforward right?

But if you actually think about it for a minute and realize you don't miss him or her, you've grown apart. Then, you should accept that you don't really care about him or her.

Also, understand that this is nothing to feel bad over. It happens. A friendship is a dynamic relationship. At some point, if it's not working for you anymore, you have to call it quits.

Don't hang in there and keep meeting up for old time's sake. This is especially true if you're in in your 20s: You're too young for that. You have so many opportunities to meet fun and new people every day. Why stick with someone who isn't giving you enough fulfillment?

You know how they always say “You don't get to pick your family?” Well, they're right. But you do get to pick your friends.

So get out there and engage with the people who are on your current level. These people will experience new phases of life with you and teach you more than you ever thought possible.

It's not always easy to just “find new friends” because, of course, that sort of bond develops over time. But if you're investing time and energy and find someone you happen to click with, it'll get there. It will be well worth losing someone else over.

Know that you are born alone and you die alone. So, you'd better find yourself some damn good company in the mean time.