I find myself in a very compromising position that I have not been in quite some time: I am single as f*ck. I have no prospects; no texts, no calls, no dates and no hookups.
However, I am also in a great position: I have two kickass internships that pertain to my career AND they're both paid. My professional life is on point and my ambition wouldn’t have it any other way.
I work six days a week, and on my free time I hang out with amazing friends who have been there for me through thick and thin. A lot of people think I am very lucky, and I do think that I am extremely fortunate. But why does it feel like something is missing?
Why is it that at the ripe age of 21, I can’t help but want the one thing I don’t have? I’m not talking about just a hookup. (Let’s all be honest: Even girls have their own personal dial-a-dick when the urge hits.) I’m talking about someone who genuinely cares about me and my well-being.
I want a guy who wants to know how my day is going, or why I’m sad or excited; a guy who just wants to spend his off-time with me. This doesn't mean I’m actively searching for a guy because quite frankly, I don’t have the time.
However, when I’m on my dinner break at work, I can’t help but search my blank phone screen for a little reminder or reassurance that I am loved. It just never comes.
When these times do arise, I can't help but feel like no one cares about me, even though the reality is I have a boatload of people who do. It just feels different when I find myself with no romantic support whatsoever.
I even piss myself off when I step back from the situation and look at the big picture. Just because I have one thing missing from my life doesn't mean it should cancel out all the wonderful things that are happening. Some day I will probably lose a job, but have a guy, or have both at the same time or have nothing at all.
Life is all about the give and take, and when the time is right, something will happen. I know in my heart that I wouldn’t be able to give a significant other the time and attention he deserves and that is okay right now.
I know so many successful men and women who go through the same thing. Our desire to have it all makes us focus on the thing we don’t have instead of all the things we do have.
The one thing we don’t have in our lives makes us absolutely crazy until we completely obsess over it. Perfection is something we see portrayed in media and other outlets, so it makes sense that we want to have it all.
I’ve decided that this should be no more. I need to be genuinely grateful for all that I have and this is something that as a generation, we need to work on. Unfortunately, it takes a conscious effort.
Lately, I have been setting time aside in my day to just think positive and make a mental list of all that I have and should be grateful for. Doing this at the beginning of the day has made the fact that I am single a whole lot easier and helps give what I do have the attention it deserves.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It