The Grown-Up Guide To Surviving Your First Foray Into Wedding Season
What has happened to wedding guest etiquette?
I've been in the hospitality business for 10 years, and I've watched all the standards, rules and basic common sense fly out the window.
People: Get it together.
Weddings are not free-for-alls.
Yes, they are supposed to be joyous occasions for everyone, but that doesn't mean you treat them like frat parties or nights at the bar with your buddies.
Go have fun, and have a few drinks.
But don't forget proper wedding guest etiquette.
1. Give generously.
You do not go to a wedding and give $50 per person. It's out of the question.
You're supposed to cover your plate as a guest.
Usually, wedding invitations go out about two to six months before the actual day. If you put $20 away a week, you'll be able to give a proper gift.
If you can't figure out what the appropriate gift amount is, don't seal the envelope. Go to the wedding and use common sense.
If they're getting married at the Plaza, you need to give an adequate gift.
You have a few months. Have two or three fewer drinks at the bar a week, and you'll be fine.
Remember that $100 per person is the minimum. Millennials, cut this IOU sh*t out.
2. Remember the dress code.
Ladies: Do not, under any circumstances, wear white, beige, ivory, cream or anything that is even in the ballpark of those colors.
You cannot wear white to someone else's wedding: It is the biggest no-no in the book.
Honestly, people will think you're a rude, inconsiderate bitch, and frankly, they're not wrong.
Wearing a color even close to white is like spitting in the bride's face.
There are a million other colors. Pick one.
I have faith in you.
Here is a small guide to dress codes in general:
White Tie Wedding: Tux and floor-length gown. No ifs, ands or buts about it.
Black Tie Wedding: Gown or formal attire. Sorry fellas; you're still going in a tux.
Formal Wedding:Gents, a suit is fine. Just make sure you look put together.
Ladies, try to stick to longer gowns. But if a midi is calling your name, run with it.
Semi-Formal: Guys, keep up that suit game. You can pull off no jacket or tie. Just make your minimum business professional.
Ladies, avoid anything that looks cheap or trashy. Semi-formal does not mean a $7 beach cover up or club dress.
Beach or Backyard Wedding: Fellas, linen is perfect. Khakis and polos are good as well, but do not show up in jeans and sneakers.
Ladies, just keep it classy and pretty.
3. Don't get drunk.
Open bars can be so tempting.
Please keep your composure. There's nothing more embarrassing than being "that guy" at the wedding.
Besides being sloppy and getting judged, you pose the risk of ruining priceless moments.
Nothing screams "assh*le" like falling into the wedding cake before the bride and groom have even gotten the chance to cut it.
(I've witnessed this. It's never pretty.)
One day, you may want to get married and have a wedding.
You don't want anyone ruining your big day, do you? I didn't think so.
Keep it together, keep it classy and cover your plate.