I Want To Get Engaged, But Not Before I Do All Of These Things


All of my friends got engaged around the same time when we were 25. While they were tying their tongues, hearts and futures together with Mr. Right, I was working two jobs just to pay my New York City rent and going on one failed Tinder date after another.

Getting engaged seemed like such a natural thing for all of them. They'd meet a guy, go on a series of perfect dates and move in with them after a year or so. Then, the next thing I'd know, my phone would ring with a tearful phone call about how he asked, she said yes and they were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

Don't get me wrong; these phone calls made me happy. They made me jump up and down and write dramatic Facebook posts about how I could only dream of meeting a guy as wonderful as their Mr. Right. I also wanted to find a guy who loved me unconditionally, through moments of PMS and nights binge-watching as many shows on Bravo as I possibly could watch.

I want to get married, which is probably the most decisive statement I can make about what I want in my life at the age of 28. If you asked me what kind of career I'd like to have or hair color I want to switch to, I would stumble over giving you an answer. But of course, marriage is something I want. I want to spend my life with the person whom I don't want to leave at the end of every night.

But before I do that, before I plan my future with one person, I know I have to complete my single girl's bucket list. It doesn't mean I can't have a serious boyfriend while I do these things. Let me be real: None of the things on my bucket list include exchanging saliva with strangers or doing anything explicitly wild.

This bucket list doesn't read like the one I made for myself to do before I graduated from college. This list is just stuff you can only go off and do before you make that promise to build a future together with another human being.

On that list are things like:

1. Find a globe, close my eyes and give it a spin. Wherever my finger lands on it, that's where I'll take a week vacation. It's risky and irresponsible, but it's one of those great adventures I can't pass up doing by myself.

2. Withdraw $500 from my savings account and buy whatever I want with the money. Marriage is about "what's mine is yours" and all that kind of stuff. I want to blow some of the cold hard cash I made while working at a cubicle job on ridiculous things like $100 foundation and $200 shoes from Topshop.

3. Go camping at a music festival and make friends with complete strangers in the tent next to mine.

4. Rent a car and take a road trip across the country by myself.

I know a lot of these things can be done with a plus one, but the real point of having this single girl bucket list is to get doing things alone out of my system.

I've been single the majority of my life, so I'm used to going to movies and dinners alone on a Friday night. It may sound pathetic, but I actually enjoyed a little bit of alone time. Once I tackle my to-do list, I'll find myself craving to never travel, shop or probably drive long distances again with a partner in crime.