Here's What It's Like To Be Engaged And Realize You Don't Have The 'Bride Gene'
At 32 years old, I can finally say I am engaged. I took the long road to get here with lots of flat tires, potholes, blind curves and massive 30 car pileups along the way.
But I got here. The bumps and curves were totally worth it for directing me toward him.
Matt and I met in the traditional way – OkCupid (OKC). I was angrily trolling for men on Quick Match when I came across his profile. He was cute so I rated him four stars (it is my personal rule to never rate five).
Since I gave him a high rating, I knew he would get a notification about me, so there was no need to message him. Clearly my coy move worked since he reached out. We went on our first date of pizza and beer and have been together even since.
Then after 2.5 years of dating, 18 months of cohabitation, one new cat adoption and heavy hints, we got engaged this past fall during a trip to Northern Ireland.
Now that the holidays have come and gone, the time has come for me to focus on wedding planning. My goal going into this is to make it as stress free as possible. A major part of my job is to plan events, so this should be simple. Right? Right?
No matter how unrealistic my goal may be, I am determined to persevere and get through wedding planning unscathed, and to remain only as stressed as I do during normal event planning.
I invite you to join me on my journey as I plan out a wedding and point out all of the ridiculous head-smacking moments that come along with it! And I highly encourage you to place bets on how long it takes before I lose it. Vegas odds are 2:1 I'll crash and burn.
The first thing you notice when you start planning is all of the "psycho" brides around you. Are you not sure what I mean by "psycho"?
Here are some examples to explain: their registry is already created... 16 months before the wedding, they created Pinterest boards full of wedding plans when they were still single, they made lists of photographers, florists and locations to use BEFORE they got engaged and they already have a location nailed down within a week of saying "yes."
I call this obsessiveness the "bride gene."
The people who have this gene are obvious. They are the women (and/or men) who are doing all of the things I just listed and more. This gene is mostly brought on by social pressures like living in a family who is always pressuring you to find someone and settle down, or being the last of your friends to get married or having an unnatural obsession with TLC reality shows.
Maybe these brides couldn't afford to live by themselves anymore, maybe they wanted out of a dead-end job, maybe they spent their college days trying to find a partner instead of studying or maybe they just watch other brides planning like crazy and feel an intense pressure to catch up.
If you find yourself with the bride gene, and you are not OK with it, you can be saved!
All you have to do is calm down and back away from the crazy. But beware: Most brides don't realize they have the bride gene and will require saving.
In that case, I hope you have a good friend who can slap you back into reality. If you have that friend, cherish them.
How do you know if you have the bride gene? If you have read through this and the "psycho" things I mentioned don't seem ridiculous to you, you have the gene.