Before I could even walk, I knew how to open up a can of SPAM. Straight up.
Growing up in Hawaii, it became a regular part of my daily breakfast routine and to this day I will gladly devour some SPAM and eggs in any weather.
It wasn't until I moved to New York years later that I realized I was unlike everyone else.
People, who knew nothing about the kitchen culture I came up in, began to shame me and tried to make me feel like what I was eating was trash. (Luckily, I met a few friends who stood by me and even started eating SPAM with ya boy. Those are the ones I consider real friends for life. You know who you are.)
Before we continue, yes, I understand there is pretty much no nutritional value in eating SPAM, and sure, you could say it's pretty much just terrible for you. But when did people start living lives for others?
When I learned about SPAM haters I realized I had three options: shut down and stop eating SPAM, closet eat it at the crib like a shook ass bitch, or proudly eat my SPAM in the open like a motherf*cking man.
You know ya boy had to choose the last.
Through the storm of criticism, I continued to eat SPAM and never minded what anyone thought about me, and that is when I realized I truly found myself.
I began using this same SPAM mentality in all areas of my life and while people often question my ways, I will never truly give a f*ck what they think.
You know those people DJ Khaled refers to as "they"? Those are the people who SPAM-shame my sh*t. Those are the people you've got to watch out for because they don't want you to be who you really are.
It seems like staying true to yourself can be the hardest thing to do these days. People are defined by the decisions they make in life, and guess what, I've decided to eat this SPAM, you bish.
What people don't know about SPAM, however, is the actual history. In fact, you probably won't find another food with more historical context.
During World War II, SPAM was made and given to soldiers because the processed meat had an extremely long shelf life and was easy to consume. Later, SPAM found its way through the Pacific islands in places like Guam, the Philippines and of course Hawaii where it's enjoyed with no judgment.
Since the 1930s, SPAM has been a staple for families who couldn't afford fresh meat. So if you're shaming SPAM, you're pretty much shaming poverty.
Some people try to claim the "mystery meat" that's in SPAM is harmful, but they're trippin'. Hormel specifically says it's made with pork shoulder and ham, along with salt, water, sugar, potato starch and nitrites.
It's not much different from eating a hot dog and all those other rumors are bogus. Aside from all that, there's the most important part: It's motherf*cking delicious.
I guarantee that every single person who's ever hated on SPAM has never tried it.
SPAM musubi, which is served with rice, teriyaki sauce and wrapped in seaweed, is an absolute banger. It's such a versatile dish that's been untapped in mainstream culture that it's really a damn shame.
Close-minded people are one thing, but people who speak before thinking and hate before tasting are the worst.
Look, I'm not saying that everyone should be eating it. Truth is, if you didn't start eating it as a child you probably never will. But just understand from a young SPAM eating man, that I will never change.
When you stop being you and don't enjoy things like you did when you were a kid, your life gets boring.
So, if you're still SPAM-shaming in 2016, then you're shaming my culture and all those who came before me. Therefore, I truly cannot f*ck with you.
I probably never will.