5 Reasons You Should Avoid Going Home On Thanksgiving Eve At All Costs
Hands down, the best Thursday of the year is Thanksgiving Day.
You have turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and football, and it's one of the few social gatherings where it’s acceptable to do a wardrobe change mid-meal from your jeans to sweatpants.
It’s a time for family, friends and giving thanks for what you have in your life.
No matter how much turmoil is created when your family comes together, when that Thanksgiving meal is served, the slices of turkey and gravy boat act as a peace treaty to silence the chaos.
As great as the last Thursday of every November can be, the night before Thanksgiving is by far the worst day of the year.
Here are five reasons you should not go back home on Thanksgiving Eve and show up right when the turkey is being carved:
1. The Local Bar
On Thanksgiving Eve, the local bar in your town will transform itself into a gateway to hell.
It’s one of the few places in your small hometown that doesn’t close at 6 pm, and it's the only sanctuary you can use to escape your parents' grasp for a couple hours and get a drink.
Unfortunately, every single person you went to high school with had the same idea.
The last thing you want to do is run into your high school girlfriend or be stuck in a 45-minute conversation with your old buddy John, who won’t shut up about how becoming a vegan and doing CrossFit completely changed his life.
If there’s one night of the year you are guaranteed to cross paths with every single person you went to high school with, it’s Thanksgiving Eve.
You are now living a real nightmare, so you have to make a decision of watching late-night talk shows with your parents or telling the bartender to keep your tab open.
2. Helping With Thanksgiving Dinner
If you decide to make the terrible decision of returning home the morning of Thanksgiving Eve, there’s a 200 percent chance you have cemented yourself as your mother’s sous chef for the next eight hours.
And, you won’t be doing the fun stuff like seasoning the turkey or licking the cookie dough spatula.
You will be down in the ditches peeling potatoes, pulling out the turkey guts and chopping up toasted bread because, as your mother states, "The salad tastes better with homemade croutons."
After you’ve sliced your finger for the ninth time with the potato peeler, you will be regretting your decision to come home a full day early.
3. Can’t Eat The Desserts Yet
So, you’ve returned home and given hugs and kisses to the family.
You catch an orange sparkle out of the corner of your eye: pumpkin everything.
You make an immediate 180-degree turn and march toward the table full of desserts your mom has made for the next day.
Your hand is inches away from pulling off the saran wrap, and you can basically taste that pie already when she slaps your hand.
Mom has caught you red-handed.
"Hands off. Those are for tomorrow," she screams as the pool of salivation you built up in your mouth starts to drool out.
For the next 24 hours, you will be stuck staring at the tower of sweet treats looking back at you every time you walk into the kitchen.
Not cool, Mom. Not cool.
4. Living With Your Parents Again
If you have made the choice to return home on Thanksgiving Eve, then you have also made the unfortunate choice of living under your parents' rule once again.
You have no control of the TV, your mom is constantly asking, "Are you sure you’re not hungry?" and there’s a good chance you could get grounded until Thanksgiving dinner if you’re caught drinking directly from the milk carton again.
And good luck staying out past midnight. Remember your good old friend named curfew?
Yeah, returning to your parent’s house also means the return of a curfew.
5. Not Sleeping In Your Bed
So you’ve been out of the house for a while or maybe just a couple years away at college.
Well, your parents spared no time in transforming your old childhood room into a sewing room or home gym that never gets used.
So upon returning home for Thanksgiving, you will be stuck sleeping on the army cot your parents have set up next to the sewing machine.
If you have made the decision to go to your local bar on Thanksgiving Eve, then your terrible night will only be highlighted when you realize you don’t have the comfort of your own bed after a long night of drinking.
Nothing is worse than waking up hungover in a bed designed for a 10-year-old.
You know what you’re thankful for? Your Tempur-Pedic bed and 12-inch memory foam mattress cover.
If you’ve just finished reading this and already booked your morning flight home on Thanksgiving Eve, then it may be too late.
But for the rest of you, there’s still time.
Tell your dad you have to work late on Wednesday, so you won’t be able to make it home until Thanksgiving Day.
Tell your mom you have a late-night midterm on Wednesday that you have to take, so you’ll see her around 2 pm on Thursday.
Grab a pre-made pumpkin pie, turn on the Netflix, eat your whipped cream straight out of the can and be thankful you didn’t go back home this Thanksgiving Eve.