It's fall and if you don't know what that means, you live under a rock -- a big rock where you don't have an Instagram and you don't follow every "basic girl" who has ever lived on it.
Fall means drinking pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks just to take an Instagram, putting on your most festive flannel just to take an selfie, hiking up to a pumpkin patch just to post the scenery (#blessed to be here), carving a pumpkin just so you can show your Insta followers how funny and creative you are and raking a huge pile of leaves to jump in just to take an action shot.
I could go on forever. Seriously. Do we see a trend here?
Fall is the time to be festive and filter the shit out of your life. It is the only time of the year that the color scheme matches well with just about every Instagram filter including Valencia.
In all honestly, fall is just a naturally pretty season; we thank you Mother Nature.
How could you not enjoy seeing a timeline flooded with beautiful photos of bright orange and yellow leaves falling to the ground? And let's talk about pumpkins; they are seriously so fascinating and they photograph so well.
Not only in my defense, but in the defense of every other "basic" girl who's ever posted a "basic" Instagram and had to hear shit about it from everyone including their own mother, it's OK to post your very basic, very festive Instagram.
First of all, can we talk about the price of a pumpkin spice latte? Us basic girls drop a lot of money on cinnamon water with a splash of milk just to post an Instagram. The average price of a PSL at Starbucks is currently $5.25 for only a grande. That's not even a large!
So please, next time you see a PSL Instagram post understand that photo cost a lot to create.
Those special little craving knifes are not user friendly, nor are those stencils that are basically suppose to make the image almost impossible to screw up.
So please understand, I used my hands carving that pumpkin for more time than you will ever use your hands for the greater good in your life. Yes, carving a pumpkin to post a photo to bless your timeline is for the greater good.
Thirdly, do we really think a basic girl knows how to do any yard work? The answer is no. Clearly, no. Even raking, which seems oh-so-simple is not a task for a basic gal to complete.
However, the leaves need to be arranged into a nice pile for a perfect photo so now I have to use a giant rake.
Lastly, in all of our defenses, do you understand how hard it is to take a decent photo at a pumpkin patch? It's almost as impossible as using the pumpkin carving stencil the right way.
The lighting has to be just right, there can't be too many clouds in the sky and the sad looking pumpkins that are bruised and covered in dirt have to be completely moved out of the frame of the photo.
Oh, and all the parents running around after their screaming children can ruin just about every photo. "Look how sick this picture looks, oh wait that woman in the corner just ruined it."
We've all been there, and by there I mean the person who ruins a sick Instagram picture.