The Truth Behind Dealing With Negative Memories

by Angelo Gage

All memories in the human mind hold an energetic charge, and the more you focus on a memory, the more you create a neuro-pathway that reinforces it to exist.  It is said that focus is power, and this is quite true since observation creates reality.

I don't want to get too deep into scientific theories, but it is said that reality only exists when someone is observing it; therefore, focus allows energy to manifest and create what you see as the world today. The age old question "if a tree falls down in the woods and no one is there to see or hear it, does it make a sound?" can help us understand how we are responsible for our own suffering when it comes to bad memories.

Sound is a two way process; something must be present to receive sound otherwise there is no sound. This is the same concept when it comes to memory, and one can ask, can one have a memory of something if they cannot retrieve it? If there is a memory somewhere in your mind but you can't recall it, is it actually there? If you forget something, and never remember it again, then it no longer exists in your reality.

The more focus that you put towards a certain memory, the more "real" that memory becomes, and the more it is engrained into your observational reality.  The human body consumes calories(energy) in order to run itself. Thinking consumes energy. You have probably experienced this when you focus on something too much, such as studying or doing something mentally strenuous. Without even lifting a finger, you end up exhausted as if you just worked out. This is because you have spent so many calories engaging in such mental focus.

So what does this have to do with deleting negative memories? Since calories(energy) are consumed when the mind is functioning and intensely focusing on something, when one focuses on a negative memory, their emotions increase energy expenditure. Each negative memory holds an energetic charge that is keeping that memory alive and every negative memory will elicit a draining negative emotion.

When people focus on such memories, they bring about pain and suffering. Think of a very bad memory for a moment, and notice how you feel about it - you actually feel down and it drains you. Now think of a positive memory, notice how you feel about it - you actually feel "up" and are suddenly energized. Interesting isn't it?

It seems it would be in our best interest to free ourselves of these negatively charged memories which only drain our life force. The more we focus on the bad in our lives, the more we use our energy to reinforce a bad reality. Since most of us have this habitual practice of focusing on the bad, we create a self-draining, negative feedback loop that robs us of our positive energy.

Now as I have written before in previous articles, the human mind cannot differentiate from what it visualizes and what it is physically observing. It is easily demonstrated when I ask you to imagine eating a bowl of hot tomato soup, and just about when you are half way through it, you bring the spoon closer to your mouth when you suddenly notice a dead cockroach floating in it. Even though this scenario is imaginary, I know that you body "felt" how disgusting that event would be if it really happened.

So what can we do to stop focusing on bad memories and eventually let it go? Well, the truth is you will never really forget things that happened to you, especially traumatic events, but you can stop feeding them your precious life energy. When you do this, their power over you fades and you will experience less pain from them in your life. Accepting them for what they were, and no longer feeding them your energy is how you can "get over" things.

Your mind doesn't even have the ability to actually create a memory exactly how it was; it can only recreate a representation of what it believes took place, and that is never completely accurate. No memory you have is a reliable source as to what actually transpired. It is humanly impossible to create such memories. Many details can be lost over time and may even be completely replaced by new ones. Do you remember what color shirt you were wearing 7 Thanksgivings  ago or the exact pattern of your bed sheets at home right now? Probably not.

When you recall a bad memory, you are actually going "back in time" and recollecting an event that no longer exists in your life. Even though it was real at some point it your past, it no longer exists in the present moment and your memory is actually not "real" at all.  Reality exists in the present moment, not in the past nor in the future. NOW is the only thing that is real. So not only are you going back in time and recalling an inaccurate memory of your past, you are actually creating something out of thin air.

A memory is not an event that is taking place now, therefore it cannot affect you unless you focus on it. Since the brain cannot tell the difference between what your are imagining and what it is actually seeing, it will again experience the pain of that past event in the present time. All we need to do is learn to let go and avoid focusing on them.

What I will do now is show you how to change and deal with an unwanted memory. By following these steps, in time you will keep this memory in the past where it belongs. Please understand that what I am going to tell you to do is obviously not part of what really happened in your life, but the brain does not know the difference between what is imagined and what is real; our main objective here is to train your brain to keep its focus away from bad memories. Also, you cannot technically delete a memory unless you totally forget about it, but you can diminish the amount of focus you give it.

The following directions will be written in a hypnotic form of language; take time and follow each command in order to get the full benefits of this exercise.  Don't just read the sentence completely though, take the time to follow each command. You can do this by yourself but some of you may find it to be more effective if you had someone else read these instructions to you as you sit in a relaxed, comfortable state, with your eyes closed.

Follow these steps:

1. I want you to recall a bad memory - go back to that time, and step into the event. See what you are seeing, feel what you are feeling, and notice how it is effecting you right now.

2. As you are there, notice that this is from a time when you did not know what you know today, and as you are in this memory, you now have more knowledge of what this event actually means to you and how it affects your life.

3. As you are there in your memory, you can now realize what you have learned from it. Notice that even though this memory may have been painful,  there is something positive that you can learn from it. And when you notice what that is, I want you to imagine that becoming a part of your awareness right now and integrating that into your being.

4. I now want you to imagine that memory going the way you wanted it to go. Imagine the events happening in your favor, changing them as you wish and notice how you feel about it. Notice how you feel better about the event now and allow those feelings to become part of you.

5. As you are imagining the event going the way you wanted it to, being that you know the things you know today and knowing that the event itself is only an recollection of a time passed, you come to realize that it didn't need to go your way after all, and you are accepting of the fact that it went how it did, regardless of how you wanted it to because you are an amazing person who can overcome anything.

6. Now as you are in this memory, I want you to imagine making peace with this event, doing whatever you  must in order to do so. As you are making peace, notice how much stronger you are now and how much energy is being released. Imagine the energy of this memory returning back to your being as you begin to feel lighter, filled with positive energy.

7. Now that you have made peace with it, you notice that it has served its purpose and no longer needs to be focused on. Imagine putting this event in its rightful place in your past. Your past is either all the way to the left of your mind's eye, or literally behind you. Whichever place you feel is the right place, imagine that memory being lodged there, out of your focus, and completely losing its power over you.

8. Now say goodbye to the memory. Imaging saying "Bye bye memory, thanks for teaching me what you needed to, and making me a stronger person, but it's time to move forward." Now watch the memory fade into the past, as it gets farther and farther away.

9. Take a deep breath, and hold it for 10 seconds.

10. Now exhale, and let go of the memory completely.

This mental training can help you overcome  any bad memory that you wish to make peace with and release the draining, negative energy that comes with it. Simply follow these steps and practice putting those memories in your mind's past. I have found that most clients' past is on the very left of their minds eye or is literally behind them. Whichever place your mental past may be, make sure you send those memories to where they belong so you can make room for more positive energy in your life.

Angelo John Gage | Elite.

Angelo is the founder of For more information contact him directly at