Throughout a lifetime you are bound to meet thousands of people. Some of them you will get along with, with others you won't. You will make friends, you will make enemies, and you may even be lucky enough to find some lifelong traveling buddies to help you make it to the finish line.
But there is one thing that you must never forget: from the beginning to the end, in actuality, you are alone. Human beings are funny creatures. We crave a feeling of belonging, a connection with those we interact with on a regular basis. Yet at the same time we have an understanding that no matter how hard we try, we will never be anything more than ourselves.
Sure, those that we spend the most time with have a way of rubbing themselves off on us, so in a sense you can say that we are all made up of bits and pieces of those we surround ourselves with (For more on this check out my article "You Are Who You Eat With"). However, when it comes down to it, the truth is that we only have ourselves.
I am sure that you either have parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or friends that love you. If you are really lucky, you may have even found a partner that loves you. While it is great to be able to lean on these people when times get really tough, relying on them fully is not only unfair to them, it is counterproductive. Bombarding your loved ones with your issues distracts them from taking care of their own problems.
When you first start going to others with your problems, you do so because you find that you cannot deal with the problems yourself. Unfortunately, this is rather habit forming. It feels great not to have to deal with your problems yourself- so you get lazy. You end up relying on another person to fix things for you.
The problem with relying on other people is that they are unreliable. You may think that your boyfriend will always be there for you, but chances are that he won't. People come in and out of our lives constantly, whether willingly or forced by the laws of nature.
We come into this world alone and we will leave it alone. The one and only person that you can ever truly rely on is you. I am sure that many of you believe this to be the concoction of negative thinking. On the contrary, being capable of functioning and surviving on your own is a gift.
You have one perspective- one view of the world. What more do you need? We are already capable of experiencing, doing, creating, and achieving so much. We, as a single unit, have the ability to accomplish anything that we set our minds to.
We should not be relying on others because there is no need for us to rely on others. Whatever your goals are, you can achieve them on your own. You want to be the next president? Or maybe the next star DJ? There is nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams- other than yourself of course.
We are each only allotted a tiny sliver of life. Don't waste it. Sooner or later you will come to the conclusion that only you can take charge of your life. Instead of wallowing in your certain loneliness, embrace it. Be alone. Take some time to explore yourself and get to know yourself better.
You may very well be a completely different person from who you believe yourself to be. We are each treasure chests holding the secrets to success and the secrets to life itself. There is no need for you to look for answers anywhere other than inside yourself. You are a mini version of the universe; the same laws that hold true for stars and galaxies hold true for you.
The concept of being alone has been given a bad reputation. In our age and time we are so engaged in collecting as many Facebook friends or Twitter followers as we possibly can that we forget that none of that shit actually matters.
The only friend that you need is staring right back at you in the mirror. You need to become your best friend; you must know yourself in order to know life. We constantly hear people saying that we should always be trying to push ourselves to our limits. Sure, that is something definitely worth accomplishing- but before you push yourself to your limits, just push yourself. You need to go an inch before you make it a mile.
Making our way through life alone is a gift in disguise. Personally, I find solitude to be rather comforting. I am so busy with all that I do that I sometimes find finding time to allow my mind to just settle, time to spend quality time with myself, near impossible. I will go from one task to another without giving myself time to simply be. I love my friends and I love my family, so I try to spend as much time with them as possible.
But throw in the late nights of orgasmic bliss with what's-this-one's-name and I find myself on a never pausing conveyor belt. But I always catch myself. I may be on a runaway train of partying and mingling for 3 weeks to a month, but I always hop off before it derails.
Taking 2 steps back is fine as long as you are always countering with 3 steps forward. Not embracing your lone nature is not being able to take that 3rd, most important, step forward.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
For more from Paul, follow him on Twitter @MrPaulHudson