I’m tired of being a party girl. I’m exhausted with everyone expecting me to be “fun."
And recently, I’ve come to hate the girl I turn into after a few too many beverages.
The blackouts are becoming more frequent, the hangovers more intense and the behavior more embarrassing.
After a particularly heavy night of drinking a few weeks ago, I’ve decided it’s time to give up drinking for a year.
For a girl who loves to socialize, this is going to be extremely tough.
I’m being met with a lot of resistance and disbelief, but I’m determined to do it.
Here are eight reasons why:
1. I’m worried for my safety.
Recently, I’ve found myself in a number of situations that can only be described as f*cking stupid.
I leave clubs on my own, wander the streets and wake up in bed the next morning not knowing how I got home.
I dance around on rooftops with no railings and lose my friends and phone in foreign countries.
I’m grateful that I’ve managed to come out of these situations without getting hurt, but someday that luck will run out.
2. I can’t handle the hangovers.
My entire Sunday is always a write off.
I spend the day in bed, unable to even watch TV in case it aggravates my headache.
Sometimes it even goes on for several days. This week I was still feeling the effects from last weekend’s binge until Tuesday.
3. Hangover anxiety.
As if feeling sick and having a raging headache isn’t enough, I’ve recently started to suffer from anxiety the day after drinking, and I’m not alone in this.
Often, I spend my day feeling waves of panic.
Those of you who have experienced this will know what an awful feeling of dread it involves, and it’s completely unshakeable for the whole day.
4. Drunk texting.
And it doesn’t stop at texts.
Drunk phonecalls, drunk FaceTime, drunk tweets, drunk Facebook messages. You name it, I’ve done it.
I drunk text the whole world and its mother.
Love interests, friends, coworkers and once I even called my grandparents at 5 am (which they were obviously thrilled about).
The embarrassment of waking up and seeing a phone full of outgoing calls and texts is becoming a nightmare, especially when you have no idea what you’ve been rambling on about for 37 minutes.
Sometimes my drunk self likes to delete the evidence, and I’m only reminded of what I’ve done by an awkward sober response from someone I’ve pestered.
5. There is no filter to what comes out of my mouth.
I’m bored of the blurry memories of asking people I’ve just met inappropriate questions, or telling coworkers things I don’t actually want them to know or telling boys I love them when I most certainly don’t.
6. I get memory blanks.
When I was younger, I seemed to remember everything from my nights out.
If I had a blackout night, I knew I’d seriously overdone it.
These days I’m having hours of memory blanks every time I drink, and it’s scary.
I wake up in the morning relying on my friends and housemates to fill in the gaps.
7. My relationships and friendships are suffering.
Every single relationship I’ve ever been in has been affected by my drinking.
There were tantrums, tears and drama.
A number of times I’ve been wasted and woken up to angry texts sent to guys I wasn't even official with and five or six outgoing calls.
Is it any wonder I’ve been single for over three years?
8. It’s depressing.
Considering all of the above, it’s no surprise I sometimes feel completely miserable for days after a particularly embarrassing night out.
It’s not going to be easy, but I’ve made up my mind and I’m up for the challenge.
And obviously, I'm looking forward to having my Sundays back.